AN: Just to let you know, I know next to nothing about cars and only the current prices and changed them to what I considered right before inflation and prices in the past as the world is not set on Earth, some things will differ slightly.
A real M2 costs between ￡55,000-65,000 depending on setup, but since I am using $, they are much cheaper despite the ￡ being so much stronger in the past.
Apologies to car maniacs and those focused on economics.
————-
The dealership did not specialise in the brand I wanted most, but when I checked the catalogue on my new phone.
Oh right… The Arvani suit came with the new Pear 10 XL model… how amazing!
[Fufu~ I am glad you are happy!]
Very… you are the best!
“But what cool cars do they sell in the B.W.M. dealership? I don’t know cars, but I want something badass, and can’t pull off the good boy look, so either Suit Thug or Fierce C.E.O. suits me best…”
[Do you want me to suggest one that suits you for now? It’s actually on sale!]
Oh really!? What do I have to do for you, give you cunnilingus tonight!?
[That… doesn’t sound too bad…]
“Perverted goddess over here! Send help!” I said with my hands to my mouth, but nobody was there, only a slightly furious fairy that seemed to be putting on some studded gloves and boots…
Forgive me… I’ll do it! I’ll make the fairy orgasm!
[Hmph!]
[You better…]
I hope she washes herself… God forbid she smells bad and doesn’t wash…
[-sharpens knife-]
Suddenly while we were flirting as always.
[How is that flirting!?]
A strange guy, a little fat, but his face looked evil as he stroked his palms together, clearly trying to steal my hard-earned money!
Well, not today, fat man! I am handsome, so you must kneel before me and my powerful goddess!
[I’m not helping.]
Eh!?
“Greetings, our esteemed customer. May I ask what you are looking for today?”
This man’s eyes looked me up and down, like a male physical education teacher eyeing the school’s most attractive girls like a sex offender.
Sorry man… I am saving myself for the handsome brother…
[What?]
Ahem…!
“Hello there… Clive, I am here to purchase a new car and was wondering what the B.W.M. dealership could offer me that would not take too long to take home if I paid in full today.”
What kind of a name is Clive? This fat man, I will watch you to ensure you aren’t the N.T.R. bastard type.
If you are… I am sorry but must end you for the handsome brother’s harem!
[He’s gay]
… 𝗈𝑣𝗅xt.𝚌𝞸𝓂
Dearest Handsome Brother…
I was powerless… Your ass will be hollowed out to save mine!
Yours forever
Rai
…
[Do you know there is no handsome brother?]
Do you know there is no such thing as magical plastic surgery, and you’re still flat?
[-sharpens knife-]
A knife can only get so sharp, idiot.
“Well… Are you looking for an executive type or a sporty type? If it’s not too much to ask, could you also tell me your budget?”
[Ask to see the M2]
Sometimes my lovely fairy acts like she might harm me, but I know that Rai is number 1 and number 2 in her heart because she has nobody else.
Who would want a flat-chested goddess…
Sorry, even Lolicons would hate her due to looking over 30!
[R-A-I!!!]
With the fairy now cheering me on! I felt enough power to take on the old man!
[He’s fat, not old!]
She’s right! To take on the old fat man with a bald spot!
[HOW IS IT WORSE! HE’S NOT EVEN BALD!!!!]
Today the fairy might suffer a brain aneurysm, and I’ll get her fortune! Plan successful.
“Well, thank you for the offer—I am interested in the M2 Model. I am not too picky but would like it to be black if possible…”
“Ooh…ooh!”
The fat old man with bad breath and a toupé began to writhe as if he was having an orgasm.
[He’s just happy to make a sale!?]
Since the fairy keeps trying to defend this fat man with bad breath, balding hair and athlete’s foot, it seems she doesn’t like handsome men…
But bald, ugly or smelly men… Ah, return to me, my nice beloved fairy!
[I LIKE HANDSOME MEN!]
[-Vomits Blood-]
See… she might even have stage 3 cancer… R.I.P. Vomit Fairy.
[Rai]
[I’m tired… let me go… I want to go back to my parents for a few days… I promise to come back…]
Somehow we are now a married couple in rough times!?
[You hurt my soul…]
We followed the old fat man that…
[Stop it]
Guided us without any balding hair or smelly breath… He was just a normal old man with extra fat and smelly feet.
Suddenly, the moment I saw the car, the games I played with Eternia to stabilise my collapsing mind finished.
I forgot the abuse I’d suffered as a child, bullied and beaten until barely able to breathe and pissing blood…
The black M2 car was glossy, with a metallic finish, and the windows were slightly tinted with a cool M2 painted on the side in white.
“Mr Shibuya, this is a top-of-the-range, brand new BWM 3.0 M2 Competition 2d 405.. with its…”
The old man began to talk so much shite… I am not a car guy… I like cool things. My new phone began to take new pictures of the car, which I posted to a secret comment section just for the Handsome guys that still supported me and my troubles with mental health.
I love you guys!
[…]
[(So he’s aware of his denial and avoidance of reality…)]
To put it simply, it was a cool ass car! 4 seats with super sweet leather, soft and comfy I bounced on them and thought… Wouldn’t sex be amazing in this car?
The fairy looked at me with a strange look… Is she getting horny again? Should I get some pepper spray to protect my virginity…
[You’ve had sex with 6 women!]
Ah… my dark history…
So the engine was 3 Litres or something…. and it was an automatic gearbox… pretty nifty!
He then started talking about its speed and rubbish, but I just liked the silver spinners on the wheels, wondering if I could get sharp spikes attached to them and the badass bumper that was like a robot snarling mouth.
“Ah, old man… you don’t need to talk! I am sold.. how much is it? What is the insurance cost and policy? Can I just let you set it up, and I’ll pay via Direct Debit?”
“Honestly, I am a lazy man… you see?”
At first, the fat man seemed to think, but he wasn’t mad; this took his NTR rating down 2 levels.
A nice fatman was never a NTR bastard.
[How are you rating humanity!?]
So the old man took me to his office and gave me candy and a drink. (coffee and cake) and we discussed things… whats APR?
Ah…
[Nevermind… Let me]
Thus the magical fairy used her magic and helped me finish the documents—ah, but she stole the fucking cake! I will get my revenge for sure…
[(Someone please… just kill me..)]
“When can I drive the car away?”
“Thanks to paying in full, the car is already tested for safety and can be driven away today.”
“Once again, thank you for choosing our service, Mr Shibuya!”
“Please come back in the future!”
The old man suddenly seemed a lot more handsome, and his hair grew back… maybe he even ate some mints!
My hands were covered in his germs after he kept shaking them, maybe my money would help him hire a teenage prostitute later, and his NTR rating would reverse, but alas, I am an ant in the huge universe…
We headed back to the car… but the fairy was really sad… her wings were floppy, and her ears were too.
So I slapped her ass and rubbed her when he got inside my car… Air con banzai!
The fairy seems to like it when I stroke her crotch…. such a frail old woman… seducing this fine upstanding young man.
[…]
[(I cannot deny his words…. it feels amazing)]
[IS WHAT YOU EXPECTED ME TO SAY FUCKER!]
Bang!
Dear handsome guys…
Today I bought a nice new car, come to my house, and we will drive to the beach for fun! Hehe
However…
Today I also died…
The culprit was the vomit fairy…
R.I.P.
P.s.
Make sure to leave lots of money at my funeral!
Your’s Sincerely
Not Rai.
