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“Mommy, everyone says Dad doesn’t like you anymore, that Dad deliberately killed you. I’m about to become an orphan no one wants. I argued with them, saying Dad isn’t like that, but they laughed at me. I want to ask Dad, but I’m afraid, I don’t dare to cry in front of him. Mommy, Mommy, I miss you so much.”
The maid put down her broom and, more adeptly than before, hugged the little girl with swollen eyes into her arms.
“Baby, Mom fought to protect the base, to protect everyone from the miasma monsters, to protect the children within my base. Everything was my own choice.”
The maid’s words made Zera stop sobbing. She peeked out her head and asked with a whimper, “So Mommy, you are a hero, right?”
“Yes, Mom is a hero, and I’ve come back alive. You have me; you’ll never be an orphan. I will always be by your side. You might not be strong enough now, but I see many excellent qualities in you. I believe that one day, you can become a person like your father. Keep it up, my child.”
“Thank you, thank you, Mommy!”
” Mommy, I now want to eat the stewed potatoes you make, can I?” Zera wiped her tear-streaked face.
“Of course, baby, as a reward for your bravery.”
In the kitchen, the maid wearing an apron is cooking, beside her is the little girl who has gone from tears to a face full of greedy and expectant expressions.
As an observer, Renji could clearly see that whenever the little girl named “Zera” was in a bad mood, many red lines symbolizing the miasma would be released from her body.
And these miasma auras were all absorbed by the maid as she played the role of a mother, comforting the little girl.
In the blink of an eye, the little girl who might have been only six or seven years old has now become about ten years old, her height has grown from just reaching the maid’s thighs to her waist.
This time, the memory is of the little girl rushing in excitedly, although dirty and bruised, but that doesn’t hinder her flushed face, excitedly shouting at the maid:
“Mommy! I’ve become an Eclipse! I even killed a miasma monster with my own hands! Everyone looked at me with surprise, even Father! I did it, Mommy! Did you see, Mommy! Mommy, I’m like you, I’m a hero too.”
Talking about the little girl, as she grew older, she seemed to realize that the maid in front of her was not her mother. Her voice grew softer; her real mother would never see this scene.
But soon, the maid bent down, not to hug this time, but to gently brush aside the girl’s bangs, which had grown long. This new gesture stunned the girl.
“My child, Mom has seen it. Your achievements are my pride. I’m genuinely happy that you could become an Eclipse. I always knew you could do it. You’ve had exceptional talent since you were little. I believe that from now on, your path will become broader, but at the same time, I hope you won’t become arrogant. You need to keep working hard.”
“After becoming an Eclipse, there will be more battles. You are still young and need to gain more experience. Remember not to overdo it; if you get hurt, it would pain me. Of course, I firmly believe that in the future, you will surpass me and become the most powerful Eclipse in the base.”
“Finally, happy birthday. I’ve prepared your favorite stewed potatoes for you. Go wash your hands and eat while it’s hot.”
Hearing “birthday,” Zera was stunned again. It was only after she quickly glanced at the wasteland calendar beside her that she realized today was indeed her birthday.
This day, forgotten by both her and her father, was remembered by the maid, who even prepared a gift for her. In that moment, Zera felt as if she truly saw the overlap between the maid and the gentle shadow of her mother from the past.
The memories behind began to flash by rapidly, one after another conversation between Zera and the maid emerged in front of Renji’s eyes.
“Mommy, I’ve been promoted to Common rank! Dad’s attitude towards me is getting better, he’s willing to talk more with me. He said he sees your shadow in me!”
“Of course, after all, you are my child. However, I don’t want you to mimic me too much. You are an independent person; you don’t have to become like me. I hope you can find your own path. Keep it up, my child.”
“Mmm~!”
…
“Mommy, I’ve started to take over some of the base’s affairs. Being a manager for the first time is so hard. Just thinking about being responsible for so many people makes me so nervous. Mommy, can you help me? It would be great if you could be by my side.”
“I’m sorry my child, Mom can only stay at home and can’t go out. But I believe it’s just a matter of unfamiliarity for now. With your intelligence, you’ll surely grasp it soon. I’m glad to see our base gaining another outstanding leader. I believe others must feel the same.”
“Mmm!”
….
“Mommy, dealing with people is so hard. It’s difficult to distinguish truth from lies. Do you know, today, one of Dad’s former subordinates quietly told me that I becoming an Eclipse a year ago was actually an accident? That Dad intentionally sent me out, wanting the monsters to kill me like Mommy. Is that true? Why would Dad… Mommy, Mommy, what should I do?”
“My child, I believe these are just rumors intended to disturb your mind. The truth of the matter needs to be judged with your own eyes. I believe in your ability to take care of yourself and find the truth. Lastly, no matter what, Mommy will always support you.”
“Mmm”
…
“I found out, what that subordinate said was true. At that time, Dad found a new lover to replace Mom, and under the temptation of this new lover, haha, they didn’t expect that the crying, cowardly little girl would actually inherit her Mommy’s strong lineage and become an Eclipse on the battlefield. Afraid I would find out, Dad killed his new lover that very night, tsk, that is just like him.”
“Mommy, it’s strange, logically, I should be angry, but why… I don’t feel any emotion. I’ve felt something was wrong recently with my body, Mommy, I’ve become more and more indifferent. I feel like I’ve lost my emotions, I’m, I’m so scared, Mommy, I…” .
“Dear, becoming an Eclipse does come with certain side effects, especially when something in the outside world has a significant impact on you. This can cause your mental state to become unstable with times, even to the point of going berserk. Mommy hopes you can take this seriously, not to be overwhelmed by negative emotions. Whenever you’re unhappy, just think of Mom, I’m here for you.”
“Or, you could speak out about your feelings. Expressing them in words can effectively help you, delay the loss of your emotions, and allow Mom to understand you better, to help you better.”
As Zera grew up and became stronger, the girl who used to smile when happy and cry when sad, whom the mechanical maid could easily understand, has disappeared.
Perhaps Zera hasn’t noticed, but as an observer, Renji can feel that Zera’s current state is becoming more and more similar to that of the father at the beginning of the memory. The expressions of happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy are starting to be hidden, making it hard to guess what’s in her heart.
The mechanical maid, now as a mother, can no longer see through her daughter’s heart, which is why she hopes Zera can express her inner thoughts herself.
And Zera, “Like this? I find it very interesting!” she asked.
“That’s wonderful, my child. This way, Mommy can understand you better. If you find it interesting, Mommy hopes we can keep having conversations like this in the future, okay?”
“Okay, then this will be our little secret between you and me, Mommy!”
“Oh, silly Zera almost forgot to say this with the right intonation!”.
The miasma within Zera, as always, is being absorbed by the maid through their conversations, allowing her to gradually regain some of her childhood’s radiant emotions.
However, as Zera’s strength grows, the maid can no longer absorb as much, and visibly, many miasma red lines still surround Zera’s body. This might be why Zera mentioned she was beginning to lose her emotions.
And Renji knows, no, it should be said that from the time Renji could see the miasma red lines on the young girl Zera, he guessed Zera’s terrifying talent.
But in the old era, a higher talent is not necessarily better. On the contrary, the higher the talent, the greater the surge in strength, but also the higher the rate of “berserk.”
Losing emotions is one of the precursors to an Eclipse’s “berserk” phase.
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