Chapter 102 Flower Road and RainbowThe weather is sunny and the flowers are in full bloom. In the small courtyard, there is a small table, a cup of tea, one person and a cat. Chen Mo sat cross-legged on a mat, singing and playing the guitar casually. A fat orange cat lay at his feet, wagging its tail lazily and casually, creating a harmonious relationship between the man and the cat. Aunt Agui hummed a little tune and came to the yard to water the flowers. Chen Mo smiled and greeted, "Aunt Gui." "Hey." Aunt Gui responded cheerfully, then looked around and said curiously: "Why is there one less person today? Are you not meditating anymore?" "You mean Master Ma?" "That's him, isn't it?"
"After coming here, you just sit here every day, doing nothing, and still tell me something about using stillness to control movement." Aunt Agui said with a smile. Aunt Agui's words were full of "disdain", as if she was a little bit dissatisfied, and a little bit hated that she didn't fight back. "Haha, some people like quietness, some people like noise, and Master Ma just likes to meditate." Chen Mo said with a smile. “You can meditate when you have nothing to do, but you can’t just meditate all day. What’s the word for that?” Aunt Agui was stuck in thinking, "Oh, yes, it's called not doing anything productive." Chen Mo was amused by the words that came out of Aunt Gui's mouth and laughed: "It's not that serious, is it? People can take a break once in a while, and it's okay to catch their breath." "Master Ma is not just sitting here occasionally. I think he has been sitting here for a year." Auntie Gui shook her head and said, "You have to work to live. You have elders to take care of and children to raise. If you don't work, someone else will have to take care of your share." "Unless you are alone, if you are well fed, your whole family will not be hungry; or if you have more money than you can spend in several lifetimes, then you can just lie down forever." After hearing this, Chen Mo nodded and said, "You are right, that's the truth." In the eyes of outsiders, it is indeed difficult to understand why Mr. Ma meditated for a whole year. Maybe if I go up the mountain to practice Taoism, at least there will be something to say. "Aunt Agui, you see things clearly. Instead of meditating, maybe Master Ma should talk to you more." Chen Mo said. "Hey, I'm just an old country woman, how can I see through anything?" Aunt Agui waved her hands. "I just know that firewood, rice, oil and salt are expensive. When you live, except for air, eating, drinking, defecating, urinating and sleeping, everything else costs money, so how can you sit still?" Chen Mo smiled and nodded, "Don't worry, Master Ma can't sit still anymore." After doing Eight Section Brocade with Master Ma this morning, Chen Mo was surprised to see that Master Ma did not meditate. In response to this, Master Ma just said, "When you are still, you will want to move," and then left. Last night, Mr. Ma was able to talk about his past casually. I guess his former spirit has returned.
Aunt Agui nodded when she heard this. "It's good that you can't sit still. It's better to toss and turn than to sit here and get rotten." On a quiet night, the kitchen in the courtyard was lit with bright yellow light. Xu Hongdou and Chen Nanxing worked hard to prepare dinner. "Nana, the meal is ready." Xu Hongdou called. "Coming." Nana came over. "Then I'll go call Da Mai." Chen Nanxing said. "Okay." Xu Hongdou nodded. Xu Hongdou and Nana served the rice and set the table together. "Huh? Why can't I see Chen Mo?" Nana asked. "Don't worry about him, he was asked by Teacher Hu to have barbecue." Xu Hongdou said. Ever since Hu Youyu knew Chen Mo's identity as a songwriter, he often asked Chen Mo for advice on how to write songs. Chen Nanxing came to Damai's room and was about to knock on the door when he heard a faint sobbing sound coming from the room. Chen Nanxing listened carefully and after confirming that he had heard correctly, he didn't know what to do, so he had to go downstairs to ask for help and told Xu Hongdou and Nana. The three of them discussed it and went upstairs together to inquire about the situation. After a while, Barley sat at the dining table with red eyes. Barley tried to calm down, took a long breath, and said in a depressed mood: "I can't write anymore. I plan to finish this book and then listen to my dad and go back to my hometown to be a teacher." Xu Hongdou, Chen Nanxing and Nana looked at each other. After a while, Xu Hongdou asked, "Why so sudden?" Da Mai was silent for a while before he slowly said, "Writing is something I like, and it's something I've always insisted on doing." "But actually when someone asks me what I'm doing or what I'm writing, I can't even open my mouth. I don't know what to say at all." "Why? Writing is great, and why should people know that their work is not good?" Chen Nanxing was puzzled. She is shooting store exploration videos herself. She understands the feeling of pouring passion into one’s work, and sometimes it really makes her satisfied and proud. So Chen Nanxing couldn’t understand why he would be afraid of others knowing about the things he liked and created? This may be the difference in thinking between social phobia and social phobia. One can show his face openly and present himself in front of the camera; the other is always worried about being exposed, afraid that what he writes will be known by people he knows. "This is a natural thought that only you confident people have." Da Mai really envies people with Chen Nanxing's personality, who can express themselves confidently and generously.
Nana said, "Da Mai, are you feeling a little tired recently? If you are really tired from writing, you can take a break before continuing." "Yes, Nanxing and I have been working for a long time and we are a little tired and numb, so we came here to take a short break, replenish our energy, and regroup." Xu Hongdou nodded. Da Mai shook his head. "Writing a novel relies on serialization. If you stop updating, the readers will all run away." "How could that be? As long as the writing is good, there will be readers willing to wait," said Nana. "This statement is like saying, 'As long as you have 30 million in savings, you can earn 1 million a year.'" "If I write well, I won't have to suffer so much; if I have 30 million in savings, I won't have to worry about not having money." "Of course, pain is the soil for creation." Barley shrugged nonchalantly. "Pain is the soil of creation, so can you try hydroponics?" Xu Hongdou said. Da Mai was stunned for a moment and couldn't help laughing. "I know about hydrology, but I don't really understand hydroponics." The three of them felt relieved when they saw Damai smile. "Let's eat first, then we'll have the energy to continue our struggle." Xu Hongdou said. Da Mai blinked. The words sounded familiar. "I think Brother Mo also said the same thing to me." Chen Nanxing smiled and said, "As a couple, they seem to be talking normally." Da Mai and Nana couldn't help but laugh, and Xu Hongdou rolled her eyes at Chen Nanxing. Chen Nanxing thought, these two people often resonate with each other at night, how could they not be similar? Xu Hongdou didn’t know what her best friend was thinking, otherwise she would blush again. It’s no wonder that Chen Nanxing had such “dirty” thoughts. It was really because the voices of Chen Mo and Xu Hongdou last time left such a deep impression on her. "Thank you." Barley said suddenly. "What are you thanking me for? We are friends, aren't we?" Xu Hongdou said. "Yeah." Barley nodded heavily. Chen Nanxing and Nana smiled at each other. When traveling, what could be more surprising than meeting close friends? Xu Hongdou said, "Da Mai, the things we like have weight, so you feel heavy in your heart." "Whatever choice you make, don't be too hard on yourself," Da Mai nodded and said, "Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm just not suited to writing and it's all just my wishful thinking." "Liking someone doesn't require meeting certain conditions or making certain achievements to prove that you are qualified to like them," said Chen Nanxing. “Just like when I was shooting store exploration videos, I didn’t think about the number of views or likes at first. I just liked it and shot it casually. I believe it’s the same when you start writing.”
Xu Hongdou said: "We always care too much about other people's opinions, so sometimes we forget why we like this thing." "Is it because of other people's comments that we like him? No, at least not at the beginning." Da Mai thought for a while and said, "Maybe, I will still have self-doubt in the future." “Creation itself is made up of self-doubt, tears, countless late nights of sitting in silence, and occasional flashes of inspiration.” "But I will move forward while still having doubts." "If I want to stop and turn around, could you please hold me like you are doing now?" Xu Hongdou, Chen Nanxing and Nana looked at each other and smiled. "Of course it's no problem." "Leave it to us." "We have your back and will not let you back down." Barley nodded seriously and said, "Well, I will try not to trouble you too many times." "You're welcome, despite the trouble." "There are three of us. We can take turns pulling you." "But I have to make it clear that we are not just three cobblers, we are three female Zhuge Liang." "Haha~~" The laughter of the four people dispelled the cold fog at night. Since the last night chat among the four girls in the courtyard, Da Mai has become much more cheerful. She comes out for walks from time to time and no longer stays in the house all day. Whenever Xu Hongdou and Chen Nanxing go out for a walk, they always bring Damai along. Da Mai would occasionally go to the coffee shop to write and keep Nana company. The four of them often cooked rice noodles together and had midnight snacks. That day, Nana was resting and Da Mai took the initiative to suggest going to the ancient city for fun. The other three had no objections. The four of them were all wearing long skirts of similar styles but different colors. Xu Hongdou's was red, Chen Nanxing's was purple, Damai's was blue, and Nana's was green. They also all wore straw hats. Four golden flowers, colorful and graceful, started a day of eating, drinking, shopping in the ancient city. At the end of the day, everyone had three or four bags in their hands. After getting tired of shopping, the four of them came to the bar where Hu Youyu was performing. "Oh, they're here." Hu Youyu was waiting for them at the door. "Teacher Hu." Several people greeted him. "Here, there are seats reserved for you." Hu Youyu led a few people in. Just as they sat down, Chen Mo arrived.
"Brother Mo, you are here too?" Da Mai was a little surprised to see Chen Mo. Chen Mo shrugged, "I can't help it. My boss told me that we are short of a driver and asked me to wait here." "You're so poor." Xu Hongdou scolded. Someone was obviously worried about her drinking outside and offered to come over. The previous few times she and Chen Nanxing came to the ancient city for shopping, she asked Chen Mo to come, but he refused. At first Xu Hongdou didn't realize that Chen Mo always had this reason or that excuse, and then vowed to do it again next time. After two or three times, Xu Hongdou realized that something was wrong and understood that Chen Mo just didn't want to accompany them shopping and pick up bags. Xu Hongdou thought about it and felt that it would be a bit boring for Chen Mo to follow the two girls shopping for clothes, so she didn't force him. Chen Mo also promised that if Xu Hongdou was alone, he would definitely accompany his wife shopping and picking up bags. At least he could hold hands and have a sense of participation. Otherwise, Xu Hongdou and Chen Nanxing, two best friends, would be walking hand in hand, and he would have nothing to do with it. As for this time, the four girls said they were going to the bar to drink in the evening. Can Chen Mo be at ease? Although Hu Youyu was there, if a few people got drunk, Hu Youyu would not be able to take care of them. Chen Mo still felt more at ease when he came alone. Xu Hongdou knew that Chen Mo was coming and assigned him a task. Only then did Chen Mo understand why there was this trip to the bar. The cocktails ordered by several people came up quickly. After a simple eye contact, Chen Mo pretended to go to the bathroom. Hu Youyu also stood up and went to the stage, strumming his guitar and singing: [That day in 1994, the first day you came into the world] [I heard that the rain has stopped. Your father gave you a name, Zhou Qingtian] When he heard his name, Da Mai was stunned for a moment, "Me?" Xu Hongdou, Chen Nanxing and Nana all nodded with a smile. [Day by day, you grow up, and you have experienced all the ups and downs. It’s no big deal.] Simple melody, warm lyrics, told softly in the tone of a friend. For the first time, Da Mai felt that Hu Youyu’s singing was also good, and she could sing more than just “Lonely Man”. [After all, you have only lived for 28 years. The road ahead will be full of flowers, Zhou Qingtian. Your future will be full of sunshine.] After Hu Youyu finished singing, just when Da Mai wanted to applaud, Hu Youyu changed the tune and sang the birthday song. "Happy birthday to you." Xu Hongdou and Nana were also clapping and singing. Chen Nanxing put a birthday hat on Damai's head. Chen Mo came out with a cake with candles on it. Barley looked at this scene, blinking hard, fanning himself gently with his hands, his eyes a little moist.
Chen Mo placed the cake in front of Da Mai and said with a smile, "Make a wish, birthday boy." Xu Hongdou and others also looked at Damai expectantly. Da Mai pursed his lips and nodded, crossed his hands tightly, closed his eyes and made a wish. After making a wish, Barley blew out the candles gently. Xu Hongdou, Chen Nanxing and Nana unscrewed the small fireworks they had prepared in advance, and colorful flowers fell. Everyone shared the cake and laughed amid cheers. "Thank you all for today. I did it." Da Mai was so moved that he was speechless. He just picked up the wine glass and drank it all. "Don't be in a hurry to get drunk. I have prepared a song for you that I haven't sung yet." Chen Mo said with a smile. "What do you want to sing?" Xu Hongdou asked curiously. She didn't know that Chen Mo was preparing to sing. "It's a new song, but it's not too happy. I hope Da Mai likes it." "I like them all. I write suspense stories and I can accept any dark style." Da Mai said immediately. "That's not the case." Chen Mole said. When Hu Youyu heard that Chen Mo had a new song, his eyes lit up. A real man should sing original songs. Others are also looking forward to it. Everyone still has a deep impression of Chen Mo’s song "You, My Deskmate" from last time. Chen Mo came on stage, holding a guitar, strumming the chords and singing softly: I never speak Because I was afraid no one would answer I never struggle Because I know the world is too big. When Da Mai listened to the lyrics, he felt like they were describing his socially anxious self. Chen Mo sang in a low voice in the first half, but when it came to the chorus, his voice suddenly became high-pitched. 【. The smallest me, the humblest dream I discovered this world Not that different If reality is unfair to you, don't worry too much. Let's go, the rainbow after the storm】 These lyrics seemed to hit Damayi's heart. I am the smallest person, writing down my most humble dream, but it seems that I am not the only one like this in this world. The ordinary me also wants to go and see the flower path and the rainbow. Maybe it will fail, maybe it will be ordinary
Perhaps this mediocre black and white world You do not understand All the crossroads in life are never the end] (End of this chapter)