Old Tiger Zhao’s body began to tremble.
A little at first.
Then violently.
Like he was channeling heaven’s lightning through his spine.
Dou Xinshi took a cautious step back, arms half-raised in a pose that screamed ’I might need backup from a healer or maybe even a spiritual master.’
“Old man?”
No response.
Just more shaking.
More dramatic sniffing.
With one fist clenched to the ceiling and eyes rolling slightly back, Old Tiger Zhao cried out.
“It heard me, kid! The divine dessert realm has spoken!”
Dou Xinshi stared at Old Tiger Zhao. The ancient body cultivator genuinely appeared on the verge of transcending and short-circuiting at the same time.
Dou Xinshi was equal parts concern and judgment.
The old man was clearly losing it again!
“Old man, you’re acting as if this thing cured your body, and soul.”
Still, Dou Xinshi turned his head toward the new chocolate ice cream machine.
His expression went blank for a second.
Then solemn.
“…Okay. Valid.”
Dou Xinshi fixed his collar and straightened his sleeves, adjusting himself with the precision of a man preparing to meet royalty.
Meanwhile, Old Tiger Zhao had stepped in front of the new machine with the reverence of a disciple meeting a grandmaster.
He placed his hand on its smooth surface.
Nodded at it.
“Welcome to the family.” Old Tiger Zhao whispered.
Then his gaze drifted to the vanilla ice cream machine.
He placed a hand on its side too.
Gave it a long, meaningful stare.
“Don’t worry. I’m not replacing you. You’re still number one in my heart.”
“First love stays first.”
Old Tiger Zhao sniffled a little.
Dou Xinshi wiped a fake tear from his eye.
“Damn. That’s deep.”
Behind the counter, Hao silently questioned all of his life choices.
This was his store now!
A place where a centuries-old fossil in human skin developed emotional relationships with dessert machines.
Before Old Tiger Zhao could burst into tears of gratitude, Dou Xinshi had already hooked his arm and started dragging him to the counter.
“Buy the new ice cream first, old fossil,” he grumbled, half-exasperated, half-used-to-it.
Naturally, Old Tiger Zhao didn’t resist in the slightest.
If he really wanted to, a casual flick of his wrist could probably send Dou Xinshi flying across the store – slamming into a shelf, crumpling like a paper doll, and waking up in a full-body cast wondering what year it was.
But no.
He allowed himself to be pulled along, leisurely walking towards Hao.
Right as they reached the counter, Dou Xinshi coughed and threw in the real attack.
“How about you pay this time, Old Zhao?”
“Just the new one, yeah? A taste of brotherhood?”
Old Tiger Zhao didn’t miss a beat.
“No.”
He even placed a hand solemnly over his chest.
“A man must earn his ice cream with his own body, boy. Only then will the soul truly savor it. To freeload is to disrespect the sacred treat.”
“…”
Dou Xinshi’s face twitched.
This walking relic had never once paid for his.
Even though Dou Xinshi knew Old Tiger Zhao had deep pockets and strength to rake in crystals whenever he felt inclined to move, the old man still behaved as though generosity were some rare martial art he had yet to comprehend.
And annoyingly, Dou Xinshi kind of agreed with him.
He also believed in earning and paying for his own meals. Said it built character. Cultivated deeper taste.
Regardless…
Surely once wouldn’t possibly break the world, would it?
Just a small dent in the old man’s savings!
The screen behind the counter switched between the two options, the elegant classic Soft Serve Vanilla Ice Cream… and now, the majestic new Soft Serve Chocolate Ice Cream.
Ten seconds for each display, looping endlessly.
They had no clue what kind of formation or expensive mechanism ran that screen, but it had to be some ancient lost technology from the Ice Cream Sect.
Even the screen alone made Old Tiger Zhao feel like he was fated with this new treat.
“One Ch-chocol-late Soft Serve Ice Cream, kid! Old Tiger Zhao said, slapping two crystals onto the counter.
Behind him, Dou Xinshi stared at the display in mortal conflict.
He hadn’t even tried the vanilla one yet!
He only had two crystals today. That was two whole cups of instant noodles!
Two!
Shwap
He slapped both cheeks with his palms, hard.
“The Dou Clan never surrenders to temptation! We rise above! We – uh – we noodle up!”
His voice cracked halfway through, but the passion was real.
This was no ordinary snack.
This was soft. And served. And had to be… licked.
He squinted at the machine.
Was that swirl supposed to be that shiny?
Sure, it looked fun and delicious and smooth and possibly life-changing. But would it give the same enlightenment state as hot, steaming instant noodles do?
Hell no!
He’d asked the old man about the effects of the vanilla ice cream once. Old Tiger Zhao’s response?
“Feels a little chilly. Kind of breezy.”
A little chilly?
That was it?
That wasn’t a cultivation benefit! That was a mild weather forecast!
Dou Xinshi scowled.
No way in hell was he going to fall for this. No matter how creamy. No matter how majestic that brown spiral looked.
His fist closed. His eyes shut.
He inhaled deeply and began repeating his sacred mantra:
“I don’t need it. I don’t crave it. I am the flame. I am the broth. I am instant.”
Then Dou Xinshi marched off toward the shelves, every step filled with the courage of a man rejecting forbidden pleasure.
“I walk this lonely path… the only one who truly understands me is cup of instant noodles.”
Hao watched from behind the counter as Dou Xinshi dramatically pointed at the noodle shelf.
“I choose you… beef flavor.”
Hao didn’t even blink.
At this point, scenes like that didn’t even register as weird anymore. Two old men treating instant noodles and ice cream like sacred treasures?
Normal day.
As long as they paid, Hao had no complaints. The store could host an opera troupe next and he’d nod along if they were holding crystals.
Dou Xinshi moved with reverence as he prepared his noodles and retreated to his usual corner, muttering something about “heritage of the Dou Clan.”
Meanwhile, Old Tiger Zhao stood before the new machine.
He held the golden cone in both hands, his gaze shining with awe, the swirl of rich, dark chocolate gleaming under the light.