And not going in.
But also not leaving.
Tian Lu exhaled with sympathy and took a step back.
“May the gods be with you, brother.”
Inside the store, Hao turned his head lazily at the sound of the door.
He gave his usual deadpan greeting.
“Welcome.”
But the man didn’t even look at him.
Eyes wide. Mouth parted. Face pale and soaked in sweat, as if someone had dumped a whole bucket of iced spirit water straight over his head.
He stood frozen just past the entrance, breathing like he’d run from the city gates all the way here.
His gaze shot left, right, up, down – wild and erratic like a lost soul in the middle of reincarnation, trying to find the right portal.
Both hands clutched his stomach.
One foot tapped repeatedly against the tiles, his whole body trembling from the strain.
He took a step forward.
His balance faltered.
He nearly slipped.
Hao blinked, not sure if this guy was having a mental breakdown or mid-battle enlightenment.
“…?”
This man… was Dou Xinshi.
As Tian Lu had guessed, he could hold it no longer.
Twenty minutes earlier, Dou Xinshi had proudly devoured four bowls of Spicy Lava Noodles from a suspicious street vendor in Scorching Soul City.
He’d even bragged aloud:
“Men of the Dou clan never yield to spice!”
The vendor had given him a weird look.
And now, he understood why.
That spice wasn’t food – it was a curse!
A molten punishment sent by the heavens!
His stomach had been roiling ever since, his intestines now locked in a deadly duel with time.
The moment the sweat began to drip down his spine, he knew it was bad.
He made a beeline for the nearest public outhouse he trusted.
That place had saved him many times before.
It was his sanctuary.
His stronghold.
His final hope!
But the second he pushed open the door…
What greeted him wasn’t relief.
It was a brightly lit store.
The air inside was cold. Too cold.
White lights buzzed overhead. The shelves were clean and filled with bizarre-looking items he’d never seen before.
There was no smell. No flies. No toilet.
Only an unfamiliar man behind a counter staring at him in mild confusion.
Panic set in immediately.
Where was the toilet?!
His body was seconds away from betrayal.
The cold air brushing against his skin felt like the devil’s finger trailing up his back, triggering him to the brink of collapse.
Every man feared this moment.
When your body whispered the truth:
“It’s time.”
And you had nowhere to go.
Dou Xinshi clenched everything.
His soul. His body. His will.
He wanted to cry.
Why now?
Why here?
Calm down. Don’t panic. You are a proud man of the Dou Clan. We don’t… we don’t po- embarass ourselves in public.
He straightened his spine. Nodded at Hao -though his lip twitched – and slowly hobbled into the nearest aisle like he was just “browsing.”
His hands were still clutching his stomach like a hostage situation, but he was trying to act normal.
Or as normal as one can be when every step is a battle between dignity and disaster.
Where’s the damn poop hole? Where is it?! I’ll even take a bucket!
A box! A spiritual jar!
ANYTHING!
Hao squinted.
There was a certain… rhythm to the man’s movements.
Half tiptoe. Half dying crab.
Every few seconds, his knees would buckle a little, and he’d freeze with a wild look in his eyes, pretending to admire a row of cola cans like they held the meaning of life.
Hao crossed his arms, thoughtful.
Then it clicked!
Hao’s eyes widened slightly.
’He’s gonna explode.’
Even back on Earth, during his graveyard shifts at the convenience store, he had seen some strange customers.
Sleepwalkers. Thieves. Screaming drunkards. Once even a guy microwaved his leftover noodles from home using the store’s microwave… then left the container and walked out without buying anything.
But never this.
Never a man on the verge of spiritual detonation in Aisle 3.
Just then, the back room door creaked open.
Mo Xixi stepped out, stretching and adjusting her messy hair.
“Greetings, boss. Morni -”
She stopped mid-step. Her eyes narrowed.
Dou Xinshi was now crouched slightly, staring at a shelf of potato chips with the solemnity of a monk about to reach enlightenment.
“…What’s wrong with that man, boss?” Mo Xixi whispered.
Hao didn’t answer right away.
He looked at Dou Xinshi, then back at her.
He lowered his voice, serious.
“You ever see a man lose a war with his own gut, Little Xixi.”
Mo Xixi blinked. “…”
Then blinked again.
She turned back to Dou Xinshi.
This time, she noticed the hunched back. The clenched fists. The cold sweat.
Her mouth slowly opened in realization.
“Wait. Is he… holding it in?”
“But why would he enter a store if he’s about to… shouldn’t he go to an outhouse? Or just – I don’t know – find a bush or corner?!”
“Probably did.” Hao sighed.
“And ended up here by accident.”
Of course, Hao hadn’t forgotten.
The newest store door was connected to an outhouse in Scorching Soul City – something that his godly luck had sneakily done during the latest expansion.
He had rolled with it. After all, traffic was traffic.
Customer was customer.
Though admittedly, it was not the kind of traffic he expected.
He tilted his head slightly.
“Can you deal with him, Little Xixi? I mean… his stomach?”
Mo Xixi puffed up her chest.
Then paused.
“…I probably can, boss.”
She closed her eyes.
Spiritual techniques. Healing methods. Old scrolls her cult passed down.
Her expression became a little panicked.
’Wait, what was that technique called again… Cursed Vein Unclogging Spell? No, that makes people bleed from the eyes…’
She rubbed her chin.
’Maybe that one where I used to help Uncle Zhong after his soul possession-induced constipation?’
She looked up at Hao with a small, serious nod.
’I’ll figure it out.’
She stomped forward like a tiny doctor going to war.
Behind Mo Xixi, Hao pressed his hands together..
’May the heavens protect you, brother…’
’And the store floor.’
Mo Xixi stopped right in front of Dou Xinshi.
Dou Xinshi glanced, eyebrows twitching.
What was this kid doing?
He blinked twice.
And she was gone.
“Eh?”
Had the kid vanished? Was he hallucinating now?
Was that one of the Spicy Lava Noodles side effects?
His thoughts were spinning.
Then –
Fwoooush.
A gentle yet firm little palm landed flat on Dou Xinshi’s gut.
“Wh – !”
Zzzzzhzzzzhhhk – !!!
