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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 91: CCTV Variety Show Project

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Chapter 91: CCTV Variety Show Project

Chapter 91 CCTV Variety Show Project It was such a blast, too blasting, I couldn’t handle it, I simply couldn’t handle it. Zhang Helun, who was about to go on stage, was stunned. Not to mention the audience, even the two of them were now thinking of two words: [Pan Ta] It's so magical. This is when he didn't see his face. Combined with Meng Hetang's exaggerated expression, it will only make the memory more profound. Fortunately, his partner was Gao Dongqiang, who could tell at a glance that Zhang Helun was not in good shape. You have to say what you are thinking, otherwise it will occupy your brain capacity. He pointed at the microphone and said, "Your master cannot see this." Zhang Helun was puzzled: "What's wrong?" "Dry and dull (they both said it together), not smooth at all, let's talk about it!" When everyone's laughter died down, Zhang Helun smiled and said, "It's okay, I'll turn up the microphone so my master can't reach it!" Complaining about Lao Guo is his current weapon to rock the show. Everyone also likes to watch him choreograph Guo Degang and get into the rhythm of his crosstalk. Gao Dongqiang successfully picks up the conversation. While listening, Qi Long took out his mobile phone, and the news pushed to him aroused his interest.

[Sa Beining, host of the legal program "Daily Talk", received a fraudulent call] After putting on the Bluetooth headset, Sa Beining quickly opened the recording after receiving a call from a scammer. The scammer said that he sent a three-year-old child to the hospital and ran away. The child was covered in injuries. He was suspected of trafficking in women and children. "Do you know who I am? Have you seen my show?" "Aren't you Sa Beining?" “Have you read Daily Talk?” "You're still reading Daily Sayings. When I put you in jail, I'll make you read it every day." Then there were dirty words and they were all muted. Qi Long found it funny, so he sent a message to Sa Beining: "Teacher Sa, please reform yourself and give me your opinions!" Soon, Sa Beining's "Hahaha" came back. It also brings Qi Long an exclusive follow-up story. Their station required him to download the Hua Xia Anti-Fraud APP, which he did. Then, because he had been chatting with the scammer for too long, the anti-fraud APP detected it. The police contacted him, but he thought it was a scam and asked them to call the police. As a result, they asked him to look at the news on the anti-fraud APP and sent him a private message. Only then did I realize it was true. People reminded him not to talk to the scammers for too long. The longer you talk, the more they will suspect that you have really been scammed. If you don't answer the anti-fraud police's call, they may come to your door and check your phone to see if you have really been scammed. If you have been scammed, a case will be filed. If you have not been scammed, you will have to delete the porn movies on your phone. Can't this trip be in vain? Qi Long was a little surprised. Anti-fraud also provides door-to-door service? How socially awkward would that be? Fortunately, he hasn't downloaded the app yet, nor has he received any calls from scammers. In the past, when Qi Long received calls from scammers, he also liked to talk in a vague way. He told the scammer that "the demolition compensation for my family was 400 million yuan, but the old couple didn't tell me to move to the sun." He said, "Recently, I've been researching spacecraft, that is, rockets. Rockets can't burn oil, they have to burn coal. Ordinary coal won't work, they have to burn refined coal." Some scammers were amused by him and hung up the phone after laughing, while others, after listening to him for a long time and being confused, finally came to their senses and started cursing at Qi Long. I can't talk to the scammers anymore. What if the uncle comes to check my phone and detects my magical software? The phone will be sliced ​​and studied. Although other people can't see it with the naked eye, I don't know if it can be detected. Even if not, it would be so embarrassing if my collection of study materials were found out.

I remember when I was hit by a car, my first reaction was whether I should format my phone. Sa Beining had no recording assignment today and was free, so he started chatting with Qi Long. He said that the program they both participated in would be broadcast tonight, and he wanted to see the birth of black coal balls with his own eyes then. When Gao Dongqiang stepped down, the two were still chatting. He squinted his eyes and looked at Qi Long, who was typing on his phone and smiling foolishly, then turned back to look at Zhang Wanyi, who was sitting motionless in the audience in the distance. He frowned and pushed Qi Long. "Hey, who are you talking to? With such a lewd smile, you should be more focused. Miss Wanyi, I think there is a chance. There is no need to cast a wide net and be a sea king!" "Sa Beining!" "That's okay." Gao Dongqiang sat aside. Qi Long showed him the news on his phone: "Let me tell you, this is hilarious, a scammer called Sa Beining." The jokes should be shared with your partner and can be turned into crosstalk sketches. Seeing that the two uncles were chatting happily, several nephews came over to listen. I didn’t expect that the crosstalk artist’s bickering with the liar was not an isolated case. Several people had the same experience. The scammer said you spent money abroad, and someone replied: "I bought some arms!" Another said, "Your son is in my hands." Then I turned around and asked which son it was, the one he had with Teacher Cang or with Teacher Bo? After Zhang Helun finished speaking, Meng Hetang looked down on him: "Brother Lun, what you said is outdated. People now talk about peaches, vegetables and so on. You have to keep up with the times when telling jokes!" "Hand over your hard drive so I can study today!" Zhang Helun joked. Meng Hetang immediately shook his head: "I haven't seen it either, I only heard about it from my friends!" "Have you seen it?" Qi Long said. Meng Hetang shook his head: "No!" "I remember one time when I was in Team 7, as soon as I entered the backstage, you were holding your phone and watching something. As soon as I came in, you turned it off and your expression was very unnatural. I asked you if you were watching a movie, and you immediately denied it." Qi Long made up jokes as soon as he came out of his mouth. Meng Hetang also replied: "Of course I can't let you see that, that's private!" "As a result, your phone lit up and the Chinese men's football team lost 0-5 to the Monkey Kings. I suddenly realized, hey, I was watching the Chinese men's football team! You were even more anxious, I was watching a movie!" Gao Dongqiang continued: "Well, it's embarrassing to let people know that I'm not as good as watching a movie when I follow men's football? You're so mean!" That night, the first episode of "Amazing Challenge" was officially broadcast. CCTV's basic ratings were already high, and the combination of Sa Beining, a CCTV favorite with a high national popularity and popularity, and Qi Long, the champion of the national crosstalk competition who always tells jokes, was a good combination. The audience retention rate is very high and is constantly rising. The program is full of laughter and touching moments. With a peak audience rating of 3% and an average audience rating of , it ranked second in the same period, second only to the old indoor variety show "Happy Camp". This achievement was undoubtedly worthy of being launched as a project. Waner Group soon received an invitation from the CCTV program "Amazing Challenges" to invite Qi Long as a regular guest. "Hey, why is Dongqiang not here?" Qi Long, who was backstage at the Deyun Society's small theater, wondered. “The director might be afraid that if we were to work together, the show would turn into a crosstalk show, right?” Gao Dongqiang laughed, “It seems that there is also Xiao Yueyue. His third show was a bit better, while my second show as the absolute cleaner was average!” "Why is it normal?" "I'm not afraid. It won't be a good show. I'll just be picking up trash."

Qi Long was impressed. He was not afraid at all despite being so high. How amazing! Soon, Qi Long received a message asking them not to eat after 10 o'clock that night, try not to drink water the next morning, and go to the hospital for a physical examination. Qi Long raised a question: Do you need to undergo a physical examination to do variety shows? The answer we got was that their future challenges may include those in the food industry, so physical safety examinations for food practitioners are a must. You see, this is CCTV, so rigorous. It is said that it was the episode about coal that was broadcast. Although netizens gave rave reviews, praising Qi Long and Sa Beining for not fearing hardship and persisting in challenges, and for thinking of the harder-working coal workers even when they were so tired, instead of complaining. However, some netizens who work in coal mines criticized the program team for not being rigorous enough, saying that many things actually violated the regulations of the mine. Thank you, director. The main point is that I listened to advice and made changes immediately. I was more serious this time. Originally, there was no dinner party after the small theater performance. But when Gao Dongqiang learned that Qi Long had a physical examination the next day and could not eat at night, he organized a dinner for everyone at his own expense. Just eat it, and keep sending Qi Long photos of various delicious foods, and even videos of them wolfing down the food. Qi Long sent a voice message and angrily scolded: "Gao Dongqiang, you should do something about people. You don't do anything related to people at all!" He simply put his phone aside, out of sight, out of mind, and lay down thinking about the lines to make himself forget about his hunger. He started to recite the first stand-up comedy he had learned, called "Look at the Miserable Slave", which was about a landlord who was extremely wealthy but extremely frugal. "This landlord doesn't use a can of sesame oil in a year. He just boils vegetables with water. When the vegetables are cooked, the landlord takes out the sesame oil can. He doesn't let others use it. He uses it himself. He dips the sesame oil in the bottle and shakes it off. A little bit of it hangs on the chopsticks. He puts it in the pot and rinses it. This is the fat for the meal. After using it for a year, there was still an extra 300 grams of soup in the bottle. Why? When the chopsticks were put back, they took the soup with them. The family couldn’t stand it. Every time the old man went out, they would cook cattle and slaughter sheep. Uh, why is it food again?” After changing the paragraph, Qi Long fell asleep after thinking about it for a while. Just like the scene in "On Dreams", the dream was full of delicious food, but unfortunately he couldn't eat any of it. As soon as he woke up the next day, Qi Long rushed to the hospital without stopping, had a physical examination early and rested early. After arriving, I met Sha Yi, who is also a participant in "Amazing Challenge" and started out as a sitcom actor. He was very handsome back then, but now he has gained weight, and his beard has become sloppy. Qi Long greeted: "Hello, Teacher Sha!" "Oh, isn't this Teacher Qi? I often listen to your crosstalk." Sha Yi also greeted him happily. "Listen before going to bed?" What Qi Long hears most recently is people saying that they listen to their crosstalk before going to bed. Sha Yi nodded: "Yes, I listened to the part about eating with dip over and over again yesterday, and I'm not hungry at all!" "Hahahaha!" Qi Long laughed: "I watched "Wulin Wai Zhuan" last night, specifically the episode with the spicy fish scales, braised sterculia lychnophora, and sugar-coated pork intestines. I'm not hungry at all!" Although they had never met before, both sides had seen each other's works, and they were both happy to see each other praise each other commercially. This is someone who has seriously read my work. "It's a pity that I woke up with joy after seeing a comment saying that the actor who played Bai Zhantang was so handsome, why is there no news after that?" Sha Yi slapped his thigh and said, "Hahahaha, what a shame! I just grew ugly, not that I won't take pictures anymore!"

(End of this chapter)

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