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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 56: I am No. 38: Qiqi!

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Chapter 56: I am No. 38: Qiqi!

Chapter 56 I am number : Qiqi! On the way home, Qi Long had another inspiration. He could write a crosstalk called "I Want to Start a Business". The project was weird and the recruiting was unscrupulous. Many of the stories he heard today could be made into jokes. But this will have to be put aside for now, as it will definitely be too late for tomorrow’s variety show crosstalk segment. Regarding the second episode, they formed their own teams freely and could say whatever they wanted, preferably related to the movie or their own characters in the previous filming. In the free team formation, Qi Long was picked by Gao Dongqiang before he could express his opinion. They didn't think much about it. Since I was a famous actor in the play, I could just play a supporting role and sing a few lines together. Someone performed "Yellow Crane Tower" in the first episode, so let's perform "Fenhe Bay" in this episode! The order of appearance in this episode was not decided by someone, but by drawing lots. Qi Long grabbed the first place at random, maintaining his usual style. This is hard for Guo Qilin, who was behind him and was planning to perform a comedy program. He planned to perform "Wenshihui", which was consistent with his role as a writer in the main film. However, he is more stable in literary matters and is not likely to take on such a big job. The key is that his supporting actor is Meng Hetang, who is not a professional supporting actor. The two of them suddenly felt a little melancholy. Soon, the host announced: Please enjoy the crosstalk "Fenhe Bay", performed by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang!

Just like last time, Qi Long was going to play another role, so Gao Dongqiang went on stage first. Just as he introduced himself, Qi Long, who was wearing a different colored gown from him, walked up to him and asked, "Are you a crosstalk performer?" "Yes, it's a crosstalk!" "I know you, Gao Dongqiang, you are a Tong Zi Gong, and you have been learning crosstalk since you were a child!" Gao Dongqiang looked happy: "Am I so famous now? Even my elementary school crosstalk is known to you. Bro, what else do you know?" "You learn skills at the age of three, purify yourself at the age of nine, and become a monk at the age of fifteen." "Yes, no. Purifying the body? That's called meditation!" Qi Long gestured: "Calm your mind and cleanse your body, that's about it!" “Much worse” "Just one more knife!" "If you lack this knife, you would be dead!" Gao Dongqiang immediately retorted. The audience burst into laughter. After the laughter, Qi Long immediately looked at Gao Dongqiang with disdain: "You crosstalk performers only know how to use some ethical baggage, without any technical content. I am your father, you are my son, my son is you, and your father is me. You see I speak so fluently, but I don't feel happy at all!" Although he said he was unhappy, his eyebrows were raised and he looked very happy. The part where he says I am your father and you are my son, the speech speed is very fast. "You look very happy!" Gao Dongqiang stopped him. "That's all fake. If you don't believe me, let's do it again. I'm your father." "Stop talking. Who are you? Why are you here to belittle our crosstalk performers?" Qi Long looked surprised: "You don't know me?" "do not know!"

"You are ignorant. Go ask around. I am a famous actor!" "A famous footman? I've heard of a famous talker, but I've never heard of a famous footman!" "I am a famous actor from the Huaxia Grand Theater!" The pronunciation of the word "剧" is very particular. It starts with "ji" and then slowly turns to the sound of "ju". It may sound problematic at first, but seems fine when you listen carefully. "Wait a minute, this is the theater, right?" "Yeah? When you get there, just pick me, number 38, my name is Qiqi!" Qi Long grabbed Dongqiang's hand and started pulling: "I can do any service well!" Gao Dongqiang suddenly realized: "Your name is Jiao'er, does it mean that you are a foot massager?" "Go to hell, does the Hua Xia Grand Theater have a foot massage artist?" Qi Long said dissatisfiedly. "There's no one at the Huaxia Theater who breaks people's fingers. Where are you from?" "I really am from the Huaxia Grand Theater. If you don't believe me, go to the official website and check it out. Go to the official website, find the employee list, and click on it, and I will be listed?" "Click?" Gao Dongqiang put emphasis on the second word. The audience understood immediately, is he a technician working in the high-end service industry? Gao Dongqiang ignored the ambiguity and asked, "No, that's not right. I went to the Huaxia Theater to listen to a play, but you weren't there." "I really haven't been on stage much lately!" "Are you still a stagehand?" "Put on stage, put on stage, you crosstalk performers, what's so vulgar about your minds? I'm an egg! Egg dumplings!" "Egg dumplings? Why are you eating something else?" "The dan in the three roles of sheng, dan, jing, mo and chou, the dan role (jiao)!" "Oh, a female role? Can you pronounce jiao as jue? I don't understand anything. So you are a jiao! A famous jiao, I understand!" Now we can get down to business. The supporting actor just needs to say, "We crosstalk actors also learn to sing, let's sing a song together." The funny actor asks what we are singing, and the supporting actor just says "Fenhe Bay." This is where Guo Degang's misfortune lies. Before, when Yu Qian got drunk and praised "Fenhe Bay", he just didn't give him these words. What Qi Long did not expect was that Gao Dongqiang began to imitate his senior brother. Qi Long said that he could sing anything, and he should sing "Fenhe Bay" according to the script, but he ordered another play. "Then please perform 'Blocking the Light' for us!" Qi Long was stunned by the words that were not related to the life. He stared at Gao Dongqiang, who was looking at him with a playful smile. Backstage, Guo Degang and Yu Qian were amused by this scene. Guo Degang said with a smile: "Brother, I felt the same way when I was on stage. I was begging you to quickly sing "Fenhewan"!" "I was drunk at that time and don't remember it!" Yu Qian said with a smile. Gao Dongqiang's sudden betrayal of his partner made Qi Long's brain start working instantly, trying to think of a solution. It’s not that Qi Long doesn’t know “Dang Liang”. It’s not that difficult. It will definitely be no problem for a crosstalk actor to learn to sing it.

The problem is, he can't sing! In this crosstalk, his character is a man who cannot sing opera but pretends to be an opera master. Once he gets into the main act, he makes a lot of jokes because he doesn't know the words, doesn't know the movements, etc. If you really sang it, it wouldn't be in line with the role. Of course, Qi Long also knew that Gao Dongqiang dared to do this, which meant that he must have a way to smooth things over. Even if he couldn't take it over, he could still do it without any stage accidents. But he still found a way to take it over! Qi Long gave a thumbs-up with a playful smile: "You are an expert, you even know "Blocking the Light"!" "Are you an expert now?" Gao Dongqiang was also curious about how Qi Long would deal with it. Qi Long nodded seriously: "This is a very important technique in our industry. Watch carefully, block the light!" After saying that, Qi Long covered his collar, bent down slightly and bowed, then stood up. "The performance is over, applause to encourage!" Many of the audience were yesterday's extras, and they really gave Qi Long face and applauded him. "Thank you everyone, I'm number 38, Qiqi!" Gao Dongqiang was speechless: "Did he perform? Just applaud!" "It's a performance, so we have to cover our collars when we bow, and inadvertently let the guests see a little bit, which is called covering our collars!" Gao Dongqiang was shocked. He had originally planned to let you sing a weird song, but you actually connected with No. 38 in front? "It's not this one that blocks the light. It seems you can't do it. Then I'll give you another one, "Dingjun Mountain"!" Qi Long was stunned. Are you coming again? He hurriedly tried to think of a homophone for the song, but kept saying, "Dingjun Mountain?" "Why, you can't? You're a famous actor!" "Yes, but it's not appropriate in public. Let's go to a private room and I'll put my butt on Jun's clothes. It will be more appropriate!" "What a Dingjun Mountain!" The audience thought it was a script and were amused by the pun. Knowing that this is not a crosstalk actor within the structure of crosstalk is another funny point. With such a good leg job, the two uncles performed it as if there was no script in "Ba Ma Gua"! "I'll order another one." Gao Dongqiang continued. Before he could finish his words, Qi Long interrupted him and said, "Don't come on, not everyone can make it up!" "Mr. Gao Dongqiang, don't order. In the past, I always told my guests, please stop touching and listen to some opera. Today I want to say, please stop listening to some opera and try touching instead?" Qi Long said as he pressed himself against him. Gao Dongqiang quickly pushed him away: "Go away! I understand, you are a chicken!" "How can you talk like that? I'm an opera actor who played a chicken. I was just teasing you just now. How could I not know that it was all opera? I was just joking!" Qi Long started to make excuses. Seeing that he had such a long speech, Gao Dongqiang started to make fun of him: "Can I continue?" "No, you can't just choose a famous actor like me whenever you want. You have to pay for a ticket first before you can listen to me sing, or you can sing with me, that's the only way!" "Oh, then let's sing together, let's sing 'Fenhe Bay'!" "Okay!" Qi Long breathed a sigh of relief.

(End of this chapter)

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