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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 334: Fake Skydiving Prank

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Chapter 334: Fake Skydiving Prank

After the two young apprentices left the stage, Qi Long and Dong Qiang went up again and said a few words, told a short joke, and then returned to the backstage amid everyone's applause. As soon as we got back, the two children came to us timidly and asked how we performed. "It's just passable. People applauded and cheered for you, which is to encourage you. But you are still far from being able to perform crosstalk on stage!" Dong Qiang responded to his apprentice. Qi Long also nodded: "But it's better than when your master and I first went on stage. When we were speaking, there was no applause from the audience!" This is the truth. It was because the people under you at that time were entrusted with tasks by the master. Don't give them applause. You should discourage their inflated self-confidence. "You still need to work harder. If you have 80 points of ability off stage, you can only show 50 points on stage. Now you don't even have 10 points. Will you be confused when you go on stage? This time your uncle wrote the lyrics for you. If he didn't write the lyrics, you would be even more confused!" Dong Qiang, the strict teacher, continued to tie ropes on them after Qi Long comforted him slightly. After this incident, the two of them temporarily had no intention of going on stage. They should practice their skills well first. If they don’t have enough ability, it would be embarrassing to go on stage. Not only would it embarrass themselves, but more importantly, it would embarrass their master. It’s a good thing that the two kids were confused when they stepped down, because it means they know their level is not good enough. Like when they performed crosstalk as an amateur on the campus stage, they were not stupid. That was because they did not understand what good crosstalk was. They did not know so they felt good about themselves. If they can feel bad about themselves, it means they know what is good and can make progress towards goodness.

Qi Long comforted her again. She had to be comforted, otherwise her self-confidence would be completely destroyed, which would not be good. Their self-confidence was completely destroyed back then. Dongqiang even wanted to go home, but it was his master's wife who took him to have a good meal and told him about how their master had been in such bad shape back then. Since the master's wife was not around, Qi Long took on the role of the good guy. One is the red cop and the other is the white cop. It’s old-fashioned, but it works! After finishing educating his apprentices, Dongqiang went to visit his godfather and godmother, Qi Long's parents. As expected, Qi Long's father and mother, who raised Dongqiang as their own son, did not urge him to get married like Dongqiang's biological parents, but they also asked him indirectly whether he had met any girls recently, etc. Dongqiang played it safe and said he was trying his best. When asked if anyone needed an introduction, he said he preferred the type of person who could get to know each other naturally and then slowly develop a relationship. Qi Long didn't spoil the show. With his life trajectory, apart from the female guests on variety shows, how else could he meet girls? He just didn't want to find one yet. "Dad, Mom, have you encountered anything interesting in your life recently?" Qi Long came to the rescue of his good brother. Other crosstalk performers may not know this, but Qi Long likes to dig out jokes from life, so when he meets his colleagues or friends or relatives he hasn't seen for a long time, he will ask them if there is anything interesting happening in their lives recently. If they tell him something interesting, he can put it in his crosstalk. It's also an easy way to change the subject. "Didn't I ask you this at dinner yesterday?" Qi Long's father glared at him. Qi Long burst out laughing: "Oh, hahaha, are you talking about the bank withdrawal?" "What's the matter?" Dong Qiang immediately cooperated and cast a grateful look towards Qi Long. It is said that Qi Long's mother went to the bank to withdraw money to buy a bracelet for Zhang Wanyi. However, there was an old lady in the queue in front of her who forgot her bank password. She said the password was in a song, and then she sang a song, which made the bank clerk think she was a cuckold - I couldn't help laughing! "What song is it?" Qi Long opened his mouth and sang beautifully: [My old father, the person I love the most, life has three parts of hardship, but you have suffered ten parts. I have not done enough as your child in this life. I beg you to be my father in the next life!] Whenever he is on the crosstalk stage, Dongqiang has the advantage, as he must praise every line in the singing part. You sing a line of "My Old Father" and I'll ask "What's wrong?" You say "The person I love the most", and I will reply: "Yes, I love you!" You are accusing me of taking advantage of you, and I can also refute that I didn't take advantage of you. You are overthinking it!

But now he was in front of his godfather and godmother, and not on a crosstalk stage, so Dongqiang thought seriously: "Oh, three-one-zero? What's wrong? The bank password only has three digits." "So Auntie has to sing it again. There is another sentence: Life is sweet out of ten points, but you have only tasted three points. The two passwords add up to 310103." “Hahahahaha!” Qi Long’s mother recalled the scene he encountered and laughed again: “At that time, a group of us were waiting for the aunt to sing both sides of “Old Father”. We at the back were all laughing so hard that the salesperson at the front almost bit his lip!” Dongqiang laughed and said, "I remembered what you said about the bank password. I have a bank card with 5 million in it, but I forgot the password. I have to spend two dollars every time to enter the password. I have never entered it correctly for so many years." "What should we do then?" Qi Long's parents were shocked. Qi Long smiled and pushed Dong Qiang: "Mom and Dad, don't pay attention to him, he said the password to the 5 million lottery ticket!" "Hahahahaha!" After rushing out of the house, Qi Long went straight to another province to film "Extreme Men's Gang". Dong Qiang was actually in the same car with him, claiming that he was going there to participate in other variety shows, but Qi Long knew that it was most likely "Extreme Men's Gang". At the end of last season, Sha Yi, Shen Teng, Jia Er and Qin Xiaoxian were guests on the "Dark Flower" special. They said that they would bring their strongest force Dong Qiang to take revenge next time, and it might be this episode. In the first episode, the men’s gang reunited, and in the second episode, the men’s gang VS let’s run. Very reasonable arrangement Qi Long did not expose him, and the two brothers talked on the plane about their ideas for adapting some traditional jokes. Qi Long also took the opportunity to watch several videos from another world that were cached in the magical software, waiting to be recorded the next day. When going to the hotel, Qi Long also noticed that the hotel was located in the suburbs and there was a flying and skydiving experience hall next to it. He immediately took a photo and sent it to his brothers, telling them that the extreme of the second season of "Extreme Men's Gang" might be coming! The next day, Qi Long was awakened by the program crew knocking on the door while he was still asleep. He opened his eyes, moved away the sofas, tables and bedside tables that were piled up at the entrance of the room, and opened the door. You have to be careful when recording this show, otherwise you won’t be able to sleep well. As soon as the door opened, an air hammer came in. Qi Long dodged it quickly and looked at the staff holding the air hammer and laughed: "It's the second season, and you still want to play a prank on me when I get up? You wish!" The staff sighed and asked him to change his clothes quickly and prepare for the recording. After Qi Long changed his clothes, several burly men in suits and sunglasses rushed out, held Qi Long down, and then put a blindfold on him. "I'll go. Will I come again?" I thought the air hammer was just a means to wake him up, but I didn't expect that the main dish was what came after the wake-up call. Qi Long was dragged out of the hotel lobby and got into a car. After getting in the car, Qi Long was still shouting: "I tell you, I have learned martial arts, swords, spears, swords and halberds." He recited a passage from "The Bodyguard", but the guy next to him didn't respond at all, and the car started without being able to see it. In the darkness, Qi Long felt that every time the vehicle drove further, it would go forward a distance, turn a corner and arrive. When Qi Long came to the hotel last night, he remembered that this place seemed to be a helicopter and skydiving entertainment center! Soon, the roar of a helicopter was heard. As soon as he got off the car, the whistling wind hit Qi Long, making it difficult for him to move. Of course, he was also moving backwards. The big men held Qi Long and dragged him against the wind. Yan Min shouted from behind Qi Long: "This time, we are going to challenge skydiving. Come on, Teacher Qi!" "Fuck you!" Qi Long opened his mouth and shouted, taking a gulp of wind. Qi Long has ridden in a helicopter before. In the special episode on pursuit, he finally escaped on the helicopter and was caught by Huang Bo. At that time, the helicopter was descending in front of him and the propeller did not stop. It didn't seem like that. There is wind, but not this strong. Is the wind too strong? Is the program crew playing a prank? Otherwise, wouldn’t it be more terrifying if they just took off the blindfold and let us see? Qi Long, who believed it was a prank, began to think of ways to prove it was a prank, such as how could I wear a microphone while skydiving? The equipment would definitely be broken by then.

Just as he was thinking this, the staff took away his microphone. Then he put on a helmet with a sports camera on it, the same one that Qi Long wore when he was sitting on the top of the plane before. Although Qi Long felt it was a prank, he was also a little panicked: "Director Yan, come on, let's play a round of games, and whoever loses will jump out of the sky." There was no response from around, as if my words were completely drowned out by the wind. Qi Long was dragged into a cockpit and sat on someone's lap, just like a skydiving instructor leading a parachute. Then he was put in noise-canceling headphones, and the roar suddenly became much quieter. "Is it really a helicopter?" The upward acceleration and overweight reaction made Qi Long completely panic. Although he guessed that it was a prank, what if it wasn't? He swallowed silently, and then the helicopter began to shake. "If you see a flock of birds, sit tight and hold on tight" Birds? Are you kidding me? After a turbulence, the helicopter stabilized and his noise-isolating earplugs were taken off. The man behind him asked, "Are you ready?" Qi Long shouted: “No!” "Don't worry, nothing will happen. All our skydiving bases have five-star reviews, and none of them have safety issues." "Nonsense, even if they're dead, they can't get one star!" "Haha. I'm going to open the hatch!" "Don't" The cabin door opened and a gust of cold wind rushed in. The coach then moved Qi Long to the side of the cabin door, and his feet could no longer touch solid ground. "Three, two, one, jump!" Qi Long was dragged down and jumped. In an instant, Qi Long felt that it was over. Before the instant was over, Qi Long fell into a pile of soft things. Now it was confirmed that it was indeed a prank. Qi Long pulled off the blindfold and looked around. This was a sponge pool, and above it, a van was lifted by a platform to a height of about four or five meters, and then moved left and right by a mechanism. As for the side, there are several huge fans and speakers, which are the source of the roar and wind. Qi Long smiled helplessly: "You guys are so mean!" "Hahahaha, is it realistic? Teacher Qi!" Yan Min ran over and asked. Qi Long spoke frankly, "I rode in a real helicopter last season. At first, it felt completely different, so I thought it was a prank. But then, when the microphone was taken away and the noise-isolating earmuffs were put on, I panicked. I also thought it was a different model and the wind speed was different. I was still scared!" Being deprived of sight is a very scary thing. Even if you were not panicked at first, you would feel three-tenths panicked inside. If you were three-tenths panicked already, you would feel five-tenths panicked inside. What's more, the program team actually built an elevator, which makes people feel that they are instantly rising and overweight. I can only say that when the production team with limited funds tries to trick members and guests, they have unlimited funds. Afterwards, Qi Long cooperated with the program crew and acted as a prankster. He sat in the back seat of the van and shouted that the next person to come was Wang Xun. Wang Xun was not afraid of heights and kept asking if he could take off his blindfold and skydive, as he wanted to see the blue sky and white clouds. Qi Long shouted from behind: "Brother Xun wants to see the blue sky and white clouds, let him jump twice?" "Qi Long?"

"Brother Xun, I'm scared. They said we can't take off the blindfold. It's so scary." "Don't shout. If you shout, I'll get scared too." Then I have to scream even louder! "Brother Xun, I heard that at this skydiving base, the skydivers only open their parachutes after free falling for a long distance." "Don't talk nonsense, no no no, I have a bad heart." Panic is contagious. Wang Xun, who originally had no objection to skydiving, became a little panicked because of Qi Long's yelling. But it’s boring to be like Wang Xun who is not afraid of heights. The most interesting ones are Sun Honglei and Luo Zhiqiang. As long as Zhang Yixing doesn't encounter animals with sharp beaks, he can still have fun with this kind of project. Besides, the one who is teasing him is Sun Honglei, so he feels more at ease when he meets Brother Honglei, and there is no show effect. Huang Bai, like Qi Long, guessed that it was a prank and he said it directly. He was just a little panicked at the moment of jumping at the end, which was not very interesting. Sun Honglei is interesting. A tough guy, he panicked and was sweating all over. After he finally jumped down, his legs were weak. He chased Qi Long and Wang Xun who were playing a prank on him, and collapsed to the ground after running two steps. Luo Zhiqiang was similar, panicking from the beginning to the end, and finally lying in the sponge pool calling for his mother After all six members finished their simulated skydiving prank, Yan Min announced the rules for this episode: The rule is that in the challenge performance just now, the three people with the most unstable heart rate fluctuations and the three with the most stable heart rate will be divided into two groups to take on the challenge, and all six people must enter a small room to accept their tasks. After entering, Qi Long learned that the three of them with relatively stable heart rates would become the [Trophy Chasing Group], and would snatch the trophy from the [Trophy Guarding Group] composed of the other three and guests, and would eventually succeed. If the Trophy Guard Team successfully brings the trophy to the final location, the Trophy Guard Team wins. However, why does this task need to be read alone? Just when Qi Long was puzzled, the program crew handed him a note. "Hide your identity? I knew it wouldn't be that easy!" Qi Long picked it up cheerfully and said, "You are a famous trophy thief in the world. After you get the trophy, you can replace the real trophy with a fake one. If the replacement is successful, you can let all other members accept the punishment. The punishment is: parachuting!" Oh my god, there were only three people in the trophy chasing team, and no guests. Now I have to play the whole game? (End of this chapter)

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