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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 316: True and False Chapter Switching Interview

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Chapter 316: True and False Chapter Switching Interview

Chapter 316: True and False Interview Qi Long and Dong Qiang finished their performances, and Guo Degang, who was performing after them, naturally took over and interjected with "Between Husband and Wife". As Qi Long said, it is always the husband who is afraid of his wife, but it is different in Teacher Yu’s family. "What's going on with our family?" “Your wife is afraid of you” "Hey, hey, that's it!" "I'm always worried that you'll go home early!" "what?" "I'm afraid too!" "What do you want?" By using such an ethical burden, successfully picking up the conversation and throwing the burden, the old couple began to bring the audience into their own crosstalk situation, starting to listen to them and enjoy their burden.

Qi Long came to the backstage, opened his mobile phone and looked at the PDF file sent by Luo Zhiqiang. Luo Zhiqiang was inspired by the episode of "Extreme Man Gang" about the lord, the rebel, the loyal minister and the civilian, and moved a game called Werewolf to his variety show in Taiwan. After more than half a year of experience, he has become a master player of Werewolf. During the Wire Festival, Qi Long received an invitation from Ma Dong, the son of the late crosstalk master Ma Ji, to participate in one of their online variety shows. Mr. Ma Ji and Qi Long's master Hou Yaowen did not get along well, but after all, Ma Ji was Mr. Hou Baolin's apprentice, so a large group of Ma Ji's students were quite friendly with Hou Yaowen's apprentice, so when the other party invited him, Qi Long accepted. The variety show is divided into two parts. The first half is an interview, and the second half is playing the Werewolf game. He is the type who does his homework and studies in advance. This game is played by twelve people. Each person has his or her own identity and can be divided into two camps, the good guy camp and the werewolf camp. When it is dark and you close your eyes, the werewolves can choose to kill the good guys with a knife. During the day, you can find out the werewolves through speeches and vote for them. Similar to Qi Long’s undercover work in variety shows, the rules are not very difficult. Qi Long took a rough look at it and then put it down to watch the show. It goes without saying that the identities in each round of the werewolf killing segment were different, but the main part was the interview segment at the beginning. Ma Dong was interviewing people, and he also came up with an interesting setting. When you were answering questions, there would be a lamp in front of your desk. When the light was on, you had to tell lies, and when the light was off, you had to tell the truth. Sometimes you're answering a question and the light bulb goes on and off forcing you to keep denying your own opinion for show effect. Oh, that’s quite interesting! As we watched, it was time for the encore performance. Everyone came on stage together wearing gowns and bowed one by one as Guo Degang introduced them. Then whoever the audience called would come up and perform a piece. The apprentices started a group of demons dancing. Shaobing and Cao Heyang did a rap. Meng Hetang and Zhou Jiuliang called for a microphone. Shang Jiuxi, who came to perform a group talk, set a ruthless fire that destroyed his home. Luan Yunping twisted his body and did something like Subject 3. When they finished their performance, the only shouts from the audience were "Uncle Qilong Dongqiang!" "Come on, Qilong, Dongqiang, would you two like to come together or one by one?" Guo Degang waved his hands. Dongqiang looked at Qilong to see what he was planning. Qilong stretched out his hand and made a "please" gesture, and the two brothers walked to the center of the stage together. "The ones in front were singing and dancing, so why don't we stop singing and dancing and just perform a short segment?" Qi Long suggested. Guo Degang and Yu Qian nodded in agreement and moved away from the center of the stage, leaving the middle to them.

Dong Qiang looked sideways at Qi Long, waiting for Qi Long to say which part he wanted to perform. Qi Long opened his mouth: "Everyone knows that Dongqiang's father is a big boss. Is he exactly the same as the overbearing CEO in movies and TV dramas?" "Which one?" Dongqiang knew what to say and started talking immediately. Qi Long: "Let's act out a scene. You play a doctor and I'm your father!" "I'm your father!" Dongqiang shouted with his neck stiffened. The ethical jokes are funny, Qi Long is the first to complain: "What's wrong with you crosstalk actors? You keep making ethical jokes. What I mean is, I play your father, a domineering president." "Then you have explained it clearly!" "Our storyline is that your father goes to a hospital for treatment, and you are the doctor who treats the patient." Qi Long explained the storyline. Dong Qiang commented: "Why does it still feel weird?" Dongqiang wrapped a white scarf on his head and treated it as a doctor's hat. While wearing the hat, Dongqiang was still speaking into the microphone: "There are no crosstalk performers wearing mourning clothes today, so I won't wear a white coat." This is an internal joke of crosstalk. In some performances, crosstalk actors have to wear funeral clothes. The audience may not understand what I mean. Later, the crosstalk actors were amused by the internal joke. After getting dressed, Qi Long came over. Gao Dongqiang, as a doctor, raised his head and said, "Hello!" Qi Long sat on the crosstalk table and said, "I'll give you five minutes to cure my illness?" "Come down, come down, come down!" Dong Qiang urged him to come down: "Tell me, what's wrong with you?" Qi Long looked at him with his nose and said with disdain: "Tell me, how do you want to treat it?" The audience and the crosstalk performers behind Qi Long and Dong Qiang burst into laughter, amused by Qi Long's exaggerated and pretentious acting and language. Dongqiang was also puzzled: "No, is my father mentally ill?" Qi Long immediately shouted: "What? Brain, I'm so good to you, why did you betray me, why did you get sick?" Amidst the laughter, Qi Long grabbed his hair. Dongqiang quickly stopped him: "What are you doing?" "I want to remove this brain that has betrayed me. Doctor, please don't stop me." "If I don't stop you, your hair will be gone. Hair is innocent!" The whole audience burst into laughter again. Everyone knew that this was not traditional crosstalk, but a bit like nonsensical comedy, which was really funny! Qi Long stopped and said, "That makes sense. Take my brain out right now and replace it with a healthy one!" "what?" "Can't you do it? You're not qualified as a doctor. When my wife had an ectopic pregnancy, I directly ordered the doctor to transfer the pregnancy to the uterus, and he did it?" "Can an ectopic pregnancy be transferred into the uterus?"

"Yes, the doctor succeeded!" "Will this work?" "Aren't you standing here?" "Go to hell!" Amidst the laughter, a short skit was performed. In fact, this was a complete skit that Qi Long had seen. The content of the skit was even more nonsensical. To perform it as a crosstalk, it had to be created as a supporting role, and it was not easy to jump in and out, so it was used as an encore skit. After the two performances, Guo Degang led everyone to sing a little song, and the first day of the Wire Festival ended. After the show, Qi Long ran to find Brother Yu Qianqian. The two of them were going to perform in a medley special show later, and they had already decided in advance what they were going to say. They planned to tell a traditional joke called "Anyway Talk", and now they were just simply rehearsing it. The next day, Qi Long had nothing to do at the Wire Drum Festival special, so he went to a board game bar with a few of his fellow apprentices who had nothing to do and played a few games of Werewolf. With his excellent acting skills and perfect logic, Qi Long fooled everyone several times. Even the owner of the Werewolf shop said that Qi Long did not look like a novice. During the trial play, Qi Long discovered a method to analyze identity. Isn't this game divided into day and night? During the night, everyone needs to wear a mask to pretend to close their eyes, and only those called by the judge can open their eyes. By observing the details, Qi Long discovered that when everyone took off their helmets at daybreak, a few people's movements were different from when they put on their helmets at dark. There are two possibilities. One is that they got tired of one posture at night and changed it to another one. The other is that they probably opened their eyes after dark. He secretly paid attention to those whose helmet-wearing posture changed. Except for Cao Heyang, who had ADHD, everyone else had an identity. This allowed Qi Long to find another way to play. He didn't have to find the wolves through speeches, he could also look at the way they wore their helmets! On the third day, when the Wire Festival had its group performance, Qi Long went to the variety show called "Werewolf at the Dinner Party". The shooting location is in the capital, not far from home, and the shooting is expected to last four hours, which is short and close to home. Qi Long accepted the job out of face. Not only he came to record, but also two hosts, both of whom are old friends, Sa Beining and Nigmat. "Hey, little Niko, it looks like the wound is okay." Qi Long showed concern after seeing him. In their rural variety show, when they went to the prairie, Nigmat and Sa Beining experienced the wrestling culture. As a result, Nigmat fell flat on his face, leaving a large red area. When Qi Long saw this clip on a variety show, he had already sent a message to express his condolences, but he had not seen it with his own eyes. Now that he has seen it with his own eyes, there is nothing wrong with his face. "fine!" Sa Beining came up and said: "We were so scared that we rushed him to the hospital. The doctor said that if we had come a little later, the wound would have healed." “Hahahahaha!” Ma Dong greeted them cheerfully: “You two have a good relationship.” Qi Long pointed at the camera: "Isn't there a camera? If there is no camera, do you think I would care about him?" Nigmat also nodded in agreement: "That's right, we don't even chat on WeChat privately!" At this time, Sa Beining came up with a look of shock: "Ah? Xiao Ni, you still have his WeChat?" “Hahahahahahaha!” Watching them bickering with each other, Ma Dong was laughing just like Tuo. This is the performance in front of the camera. They have always been in contact privately. When Sa Beining heard that Qi Long had accepted a disciple, he wanted his son to worship Qi Long in the future. Not only him, but Sha Yi also had the same idea. Everyone entered the studio while chatting and started recording the first interview session directly. "Werewolf Dinner Party", of course there is food, there is imperial capital roast duck on the table, after everyone sits down, when Ma Dong says that we should just treat it as a gathering of old friends, no need to be restrained, Qi Long directly picks up the roast duck pancake and says: "As an authentic imperial capital person, I will teach you how to eat roast duck" "How come you're from the imperial capital?" Sa Beining immediately retorted. Qi Long held the duck pancake and said, "I'm really from the capital, north of the 24th ring road, in Jilin Province!"

"Ha ha ha ha." "Then I'm from Jiangcheng, more than 40 rings southwest!" Sa Beining followed. Nigmat also spoke up: "Then I'm from the 81st Ring Road in the northwest, in Xinjiang Province." "I live closest, let me tell you!" Qi Long said proudly. At this time, Ma Dong spoke up: "I live in the Third Ring Road!" Qi Long ignored him and continued to hold the duck pancake: "Then there are some rules for eating roast duck." Ma Dong's eyes widened: "What if I just went over there?" "What's so particular?" Sa Beining asked immediately. Nigmat took out a duck pancake and touched Sa Beining: "You learn from the teacher, don't interrupt!" The three brothers tacitly ignored Ma Dong and continued chatting among themselves. Ma Dong waved his hand and said, "Hey, hey, I'm the host. I paid for this dinner. If you ignore me, I'll deduct your notice fee!" Qi Long put down the duck pancake and slammed the table and stood up: "What's wrong with you two? Can you obey the arrangement of the program team?" "What's wrong with you? Can you obey the arrangements of the program team?" Nigmati pointed at Sa Beining. Sa Beining turned and pointed at Ma Dong: "What's wrong with you?" "You see me now?" The staff filming around all laughed. Four people who make a living by talking, a crosstalk artist, a host and the child of a crosstalk family, plus two well-known hosts, were too noisy. They hadn't even sat down and the formal cue process hadn't started yet, and the four of them were already making a noise. Finally, after all the fuss, Qi Long was able to demonstrate his authentic way of eating roast duck. Breathe deeply through your mouth, put the duck pancake on your face, then pick up a piece of roast duck meat with chopsticks, dip it in the sweet noodle sauce, and stuff it into your open mouth. The meat and the pancake will enter your mouth together. Then add some shredded green onion and cucumber to relieve the greasiness. This strange and inelegant way of eating made everyone exclaim: "Authentic!" After a while of commotion, Ma Dong began to cue the process and entered the interview session. He first introduced the rules: if the light in front of you is on, you have to tell a lie, and if it is off, you have to tell the truth. The first person to be interviewed was Qi Long. Ma Dong asked a question: "Do you think you are the best crosstalk artist in the crosstalk world now?" While Qi Long was listening to the questions, the light in front of him suddenly lit up. Well, I have to tell a lie. Qi Long nodded immediately: "Your question is like asking your crotch to catch fire - of course, who else could it be besides me? Last year, in the National Crosstalk Competition, I, Qi Long, brought Gao Dongqiang, a burden who was not very good at crosstalk, and the two of us were unstoppable. Even with an assistant like Sa Beining who was a drag, we still crushed our opponents and won the championship of the National Crosstalk Competition." Qi Long was so excited that he even mentioned his partner Sa Beining, who was on the scene with him and had a good relationship with him. "Even though I know he is lying, I still want to hit him!" Sa Beining sighed. Nigmat pulled him and said, "Be obedient, we can't beat you!"

Qi Long was still talking non-stop: "The champion of the National Crosstalk Competition, how valuable it is, everyone knows, what does it mean?" As we were talking, the light in front of us suddenly went out. The arrogance on Qi Long's face disappeared instantly, and he smiled a bit meanly: "It means that the powerful ones didn't participate in the competition!" "Hahahahahahahaha!" Everyone applauded. Wow, you switch between truth and lies so smoothly. (End of this chapter)

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