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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 177: Talking about the Past and Present

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Chapter 177: Talking about the Past and Present

Chapter 177: Talking about the Past and Present Dongqiang said that Qilong was talking nonsense, and Qilong said that Dongqiang was not kind. If you want to find the Three Character Classic in the middle, find a familiar one, the beginning. I will explain it to you and explain the true meaning of the Three Character Classic to you. It is a very educational story. "Story? Is "Three Character Classic" a novel or a storytelling? Please enlighten me!" The two started from the beginning. Dong Qiang said something and Qi Long explained what it meant. "The first sentence of the opening is, man is inherently good!" "Look, the characters of the story have appeared, right?" Qi Long pointed out. Dong Qiang was puzzled: "Where is the character?" "If someone's name is Zhichu, the Three Character Classic should have three characters, so he shortened it!" "Human nature is good?" "This man's surname is Benshan, and his given name is Benshan Zhichu. Is he a famous person?"

Dong Qiang reluctantly accepted: "The second sentence, people are similar in nature, but different in habits!" "Look, the location of the story has been revealed, right?" "Where is the location?" Qi Long continued to explain: "It is said that the place where he lives is close to Xingxiang. There are apricot trees planted near their village, so it is called Xingxiang." "So it's far from Xi Township?" Qi Long reached out and patted his shoulder encouragingly: "You've finally gotten it!" "What do you mean by enlightenment? You are talking nonsense. The third sentence is, if you don't teach, your nature will change." "Look, the main conflict of the story has been revealed!" "Where is the conflict in the story?" Dong Qiang asked, and several viewers followed him and asked: "Where is the conflict in the story?" The audience who shouted felt very involved and made themselves laugh with smiles on their faces. Qi Long pointed at the big guys happily and said, "You are all eager to learn. If you don't teach me, everyone knows that it was not like now. Now many people keep dogs as pets. In the past, they were used to guard the house. If bad people came, they would bark. At the beginning of Benshan, their dog was sick and didn't bark!" "How can such a dog not bark?" "Yes, at this time, Grandma Xing came and saw that the dog couldn't bark, so she took advantage of it and took the dog away?" Dongqiang was even more confused and questioned loudly: "Where did this Grandma Xing come from?" "I married from Xingxiang, so Xingxiang is nearby." The audience burst into laughter, they didn't expect there was a connection between the beginning and the end. Dong Qiang also sighed: "Look, this thing of his has a final sentence for each sentence. The way of teaching is to be specialized." "The dog at Benshan Zhichu's house doesn't bark at home because it's lying down and not working. But lying down and not working doesn't mean you can take it away, so it barked after being taken away. When it barked, Benshan Zhichu knew that my dog ​​was taken away, so I quickly went to find Grandma Xing!" "You will know when you call me. You know when you call me? What about Gui Yizhuan?"

"Look, the solution is here!" This time, more audience members responded, shouting with Dong Qiang: "How can there be a solution?" "They are all good students!" Qi Long sighed: "This is the traditional virtue of our Chinese people, respect the old and love the young. Grandma Xing is an old lady, you have to respect her, so Ben Shanzhichu knelt down, but respecting the elderly does not mean bowing to evil forces. If you do something wrong, you must be severely punished. He knelt down and gave Grandma Xing a brick!" There were laughter and applause from the audience, “Good!” Dongqiang clapped his hands again to express his helplessness: "Teacher Qi, the beginning of the Three Character Classic talks about an old lady stealing a dog. Are you hitting the old lady with a brick?" "That's right. The key point is the principle behind it. If someone you respect makes a mistake, you can punish him respectfully by kneeling down and hitting him with a brick! See, you can be as righteous as a hater of evil and at the same time be polite. Have you learned it?" “Got it!” the audience shouted. Dong Qiang stretched out his hand to stop him: "Don't just follow me blindly!" After making a distorted and parody of the "Three Character Classic", Qi Long then made trouble for the "Book of Songs", also in the first lecture. The song "Guan Guan Ju Jiu" refers to the scene between South Gate and East Gate. According to the Pythagorean theorem, the hypotenuse is three, the leg is four, and the side is five. At the intersection, there is a treasure game, which was a place for gambling in the past. During the Zhou Dynasty, when etiquette was enforced throughout the world, gambling was not allowed, so this treasure game was created. Hence the name: Guan Guan Ju Ju! This group of people who love playing cards were locked up. After they were released, they were itching to play cards. Everyone knew that it was hard to quit, but they didn't dare to go to the gambling room. You see, nowadays there’s always someone in the movies driving a yacht to gamble on the high seas. There was no high seas at that time, so it was: go to the high river to gamble. So they gathered together upon the river: upon the isle of the river! The Fair Lady is about an old lady who got a double and lost to the lady on the other side. A gentleman loves beautiful women, which means that a gentleman is different from them. He does not play Pai Gow. Instead, he buys the sports lottery which is allowed to be purchased and watches football, but at that time it was Cuju. Qi Long turned around and asked Dong Qiang: "Do you know why sports lottery is legal? It's because it's written in the Book of Songs that a gentleman loves to play ball!" "Is sports lottery legal because of our ancestors' rules?" "That's right, those who watch football are all gentlemen, but unfortunately those who play football are not." Qi Long's crosstalk, the men's football team arrived late, and the audience laughed whenever they heard it. Dong Qiang refuted him: "Everyone knows that the Book of Songs tells a love story between a man and a woman. What kind of nonsense bet are you talking about?" Qi Long sneered: "Look, you're not paying attention, are you? Why did the old lady lose to the woman on the other side?" After saying that, Qi Long clenched his fists and walked excitedly beside him. The audience applauded and cheered. One of the audience members shouted, "It makes sense!" "How is that reasonable? The Three Character Classic is about an old lady stealing a dog, and the Book of Songs is about catching a gambler and an old lady letting the other party win?" "Have you learned it? I also have my own opinions on the Analects!" Dong Qiang said that he wanted to listen, and this time he would not ask from the beginning, but from the end, asking Qi Long to explain: The king is not a king, the minister is not a minister, the father is not a father, and the son is not a son! Qi Long frowned when he heard this question. "If you asked me half a year ago, I really couldn't explain it. But recently, the tomb of Marquis Haihun was excavated. Extra parts of the Analects were found inside. Previously, there were only the "Upper Treatise" and the "Lower Treatise". Marquis Haihun discovered a chaotic..." "Wait, don't talk nonsense on the stage!" Qi Long explained: "Luan means to criticize and comment on the Analects. If you add this criticism and commentary, then it can be explained. Of course, it is a fragment. I will use modern things to substitute it for you, and you will definitely understand what it means instantly!" "You are not a king?"

"Tokuoka-kun" "Mr. Degang? Are you talking about your senior brother Guo Degang?" "Yes, the outside world calls him the Crosstalk Emperor. Emperor, he is the monarch, right? But if an imperial decree is issued saying that you are deceiving the heaven and destroying your ancestors, and you are ordered to die, will you die?" "Are you going to die? How can you talk like that?" "Look, you don't die, you don't obey the imperial edict, so he is not a king anymore. He is not a king, but a Degang king!" Qi Long was talking about a large cargo ship. A 10,000-ton ship would sink, right? It floated on the water. Alas, it won't sink! Whether he is a father or not, the face value of the money in the wreath shop is hundreds of billions, which you can never earn in your lifetime. You are rich, but you cannot spend that money, so you are not rich anymore. It’s a big eggplant. It looks purple from the outside, but when you open it, it’s white, not purple anymore. "Whether you are a king or not, you are Mr. Degang. Whether you sink or not, you are a big cargo ship. Whether you are rich or not, you are a wreath shop. Whether you are purple or not, you are a big eggplant!" The two of them finished this sentence together. Qi Long turned to Dong Qiang and asked, "You memorized it in one try. You have a talent for learning!" "I'll go to you!" The two brothers bowed, and at this point, a comedy show that distorted various ancient books officially ended. There was another roar of applause, sending the two of them off the stage. It was time for the encore performance when they went on stage again. This time Qi Long did not sing. He and Dong Qiang performed a quick-speaking story of "Tong Ren Tang" and ended the performance in Jinling. After the end, Qi Long went to Xicheng in Su Province. Speaking of which, Su Province is a peculiar province. People from Su Province never say that they are from Su Province when they go out. They only say the name of the city or even the county where they are located. People from Jinling and Xicheng don't consider themselves to be from the same hometown, which is also a characteristic of their provinces. The reason for going to Xicheng was that while the Deyun Society crosstalk group was touring in many cities, the Deyun Drum Music Society also started its tour. The first stop was in Xicheng, which was not far away, so Qi Long took the high-speed rail to visit his girlfriend to "scrape the bone and cure the poison." That day happened to be the day the episode of "The Great Detective" in which Qi Long participated was broadcast, so the two of them watched it together while eating in the hotel. At first, Qi Long didn't want to watch it because he was a scumbag in the film, but he couldn't resist Wanyi, so he watched it with her. His inference was indeed correct. As soon as he started talking about scumbags, Zhang Wanyi looked over and said, "You know a lot about scumbags, don't you?" "I understand them critically, I am not like them!" The crosstalk actor's reaction is so fast: "I am very loyal, whether it is work or love. In terms of work, I have never changed my partner for so many years and have been engaged in the crosstalk industry. In terms of love, I also plan to grow old with you!" Zhang Wanyi rolled her eyes: "So not changing partners means being loyal?" "Yes!" When Qi Long saw her rolling her eyes, he knew there was a trap and immediately prepared himself. "There was a smoker who had only smoked one brand of cigarettes for more than ten years. His girlfriend was attracted by his loyalty, but later she found out that although he only bought one brand of cigarettes, he would accept any cigarette offered to him, no matter what brand it was. You, even though you have been partnered with Uncle Dongqiang for so many years, you are still a good partner to other crosstalk actors! Can it be understood that you can also keep the flag flying at home and the colorful flags flying outside! " Eh? That makes sense! "No, no, no. Actually, if you study it carefully, you will find that the time I collaborate with others in crosstalk is when Dongqiang is not around, so I have to make do with others. Crosstalk can be sophisticated, but life cannot. While you are here, everything else has to be a compromise!" Qi Long's little love words came out of his mouth. Zhang Wanyi sat on his lap and said, "I don't believe it. My sister's advice is right!"

"What did your sister suggest?" "Squeeze it dry!" Zhang Wanyi grinned wickedly. "Oh my god, why is there a juicer here?" "Hahaha, you are the juicer!" Zhang Wanyi felt that her funny point was Qi Long. Her friend suggested that she pretend to be angry or jealous, but she couldn't do it. She wanted to laugh as soon as she opened her mouth. Besides, why should she act like that with such a good boyfriend? This is good! "Wait a minute!" Qi Long stretched out his hand. Zhang Wanyi was puzzled: "What are you waiting for?" "I brought a cheongsam." After saying that, Qi Long's waist was twisted: "Hey, what? Do you want me to wear a gown too?" “Hahahahahahaha!” Zhang Wanyi was so happy that she felt weak all over and hit Qi Long lightly on the shoulder. (End of this chapter)

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