“…It’s been a while,” I muttered, staring at the window of the carriage as I stared at the familiar outer scenery.
Although I said that, it wasn’t actually a long time since I had last seen the Academy. In fact, it had barely been a week.
But it just felt like it had been forever.
“Remember, try your best not to reveal anything about your identity. Your goal here is to enter the crack and enter the mirror dimension.”
“I know.”
I didn’t need to be reminded by Noel. In fact, he had been reminding me of the same thing over and over again.
Was I that untrustworthy?
‘No, rather than him not trusting me, it’s more like he’s extremely paranoid.’
Indeed, he didn’t want to go through it all over again. I understood—and so, without a word, I closed my eyes as the carriage rolled forward.
Although I tried my best to remain calm, I had a hard time remaining so as my thoughts continued to drift to the Academy. What would happen if I met her? What about them? Would they recognize me?
Realistically, it shouldn’t have been possible—Noel had personally taken steps to hide my face. But could he really keep it hidden from them?
Perhaps in the past, but the current him…
“We’re here.”
The carriage came to a gentle stop, and the door creaked open. Noel stepped out first, sunlight spilling in.
He then turned around and looked at me.
“Are you ready?”
“…I am.”
I nodded in silence while similarly stepping out, allowing for the glow of the sun to fully bathe me.
Then, turning my head, I saw the all too familiar Academy Gates.
I felt my chest squeeze at the sight as I followed ‘Aldric’ from behind, several attendants following suit.
And soon, arriving before the Academy gates, a figure appeared.
The moment she appeared, it was as if the air had been sucked from my lungs, leaving me utterly breathless. With her soft black hair dancing in the wind and cold eyes, she arrived before all of us, her stunning appearance gathering the attention of the few around.
My mind blanked at the sight of her.
…But at the same time, my heart ached.
“Thank you for coming.”
She greeted Aldric first, barely glancing in our direction. Her eyes met mine for the briefest moment before moving on, offering the same fleeting look to the others.
‘So she didn’t see through the disguise.’
A part of me was happy with the development, but at the same time, I felt lost.
As I looked at her, taking in that familiar cold expression of hers, a thought crept into my mind—why does she still look the same?
She looked no different than before.
It was almost as though my ‘death’ had not affected her at all.
I obviously knew that that was probably not the case, but what if? What if she truly did not care?
Thinking back on the way she had looked at me before, my lips quivered faintly.
‘…That might truly be the case.’
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The pain in my chest intensified as the thought crept up in my mind, and in that moment, I had no choice but to do it.
I shut down all my emotions.
Gone.
This pain…
I couldn’t take it.
***
*Puff*
Smoke drifted within the confines of a large common room. With her eyes carelessly drifting across the smoke, Kiera raised her hand and twirled the smoke around her finger.
She sat there like that, her eyes lost in a daze, until a certain voice broke out of it.
“Kiera?”
Kiera’s brows furrowed slightly.
It was that annoying voice…
“Kiera…?”
“I heard you the first time.”
Kiera tore her eyes away from the smoke, her gaze settling on Aoife. At a glance, she seemed normal, but the faint dark circles under her eyes were hard to miss.
News of Julien’s death had been kept a secret from most, but they knew.
…Aoife had been the first one to break it down to them.
As the Princess of the Empire, she was naturally filled in on the information. She had been instructed to keep it to herself, but Aoife, true to her noisy personality, shared it with the others, insisting they tell no one.
The news naturally came as a shock to everyone.
However, the shock merely lasted for a few seconds before everyone dismissed the news. This hadn’t been the first time Julien had disappeared or died.
But…
‘He didn’t disappear this time. His body was found without a heartbeat or breath.’
Still, that wasn’t enough for them. Julien was a cockroach. He wasn’t the type to die so randomly and abruptly.
He couldn’t die like that.
But then…
They all saw Leon.
The one man who had never truly shown his emotions was finally showing signs of weakness, from his haggard face to the distant, lost look in his eyes.
And that was when it truly hit them.
Julien.
…He was really dead.
“Classes are about to start soon. Are you going to skip?”
“Probably…”
Kiera replied absentmindedly, her attention drifting back to the smoke curling in the air. Honestly, the term was nearly over, and finals were just around the corner. At this point, classes felt pointless.
They were more self-review sessions than anything.
Plus, she also knew how to study on her own now. She had learned from…
*Puff*
Kiera took another drag of her cigarette as Aoife stared at her with a worried look. She was just about to say something when a presence behind her made her pause.
“What are you two doing?”
It was Evelyn.
Taking a look at her and seeing her pale face, Aoife knew it was mostly due to Leon. He had yet to leave his room following the news of Julien’s death.
He barely ate as well.
Aoife took a deep breath while giving her a brief rundown on the situation.
“I was asking if Kiera wanted to come to class. She doesn’t want to.”
“Oh, I see.”
Evelyn appeared to understand as her eyes lowered.
Although she wasn’t extremely close to Julien due to her aversion towards him in the past, she had recently gotten on better terms with him. News of his death did hit her, but it had yet to truly sink in.
But more than anything, the one to have been hit the hardest was Leon.
He had completely shut down, lost in a cycle of self-blame, muttering things like, ‘It’s my fault… I caused this. If only I were better…’ over and over again.
Regardless of what she said, he wouldn’t listen as he fell deeper and deeper into this cycle of self-blame.
He had truly been hit the hardest by Julien’s death.
…And surprisingly, so did Kaelion and Caius. The two of them appeared to have also been affected by Julien’s death.
This took everyone by surprise. Especially considering how their relationship was at the start.
Since when did they become so close?
A strange silence filled the room as the three girls stood lost in their thoughts.
That was until,
“Well…”
Aoife broke the silence as she dropped her books and notes on the nearby table and sat down.
“Since none of you are going to class, I guess I’ll study here.”
“Fuck that.”
Kiera flicked the cigarette away.
“I’d rather be left to study on my own. One of the reasons why I’m not going to class is because then I wouldn’t have to see your face. So it would make me happy if you just, you know…”
Kiera paused, doing a shooing motion with her hand.
Aoife’s face twitched.
“You do know this is a common room, right?”
“…I do.”
“Then—”
“Doesn’t really change how I feel.”
Kiera cut Aoife off again as she sat up, brushing off her clothes. Crushing the cigarette under her foot, she moved toward Aoife, a clear scowl on her face.
“You so much as make a single noise and I’ll kill you.”
“…Whaaa, the hell…”
Aoife looked at Kiera with an aggrieved look while mumbling things like, ‘Where’s the respect? I’m a godamn princess. Why are you speaking to me like this?’
Overhearing her mumbling, Kiera stopped, and Aoife’s mouth quickly shut.
Kiera smirked then.
“Pussy.”
She then proceeded to sit down opposite her.
Staring at their interactions, Evelyn blinked her eyes slowly. It wasn’t that long since Julien died. Evelyn half-expected the two of them to be more affected, but apart from the occasional moments of silence, they seemed to be faring well.
As if noticing the strange expression on her face, Kiera turned to look her way.
“What’s wrong?”
“No, it’s…”
“…You think that I’m acting too normal after the news?”
“Err..”
Evelyn’s mouth squeezed into an ‘X’. Her thoughts had been read perfectly.
Kiera chuckled when she saw that, as she went on to grab a nearby book before opening it.
“Do you know what he told me before?”
Kiera mumbled, her eyes moving towards the pages of the book.
Both Aoife and Evelyn looked at her as she closed her eyes and recalled a certain conversation in the past.
“Life doesn’t pause for us.”
“It moves forward, relentlessly.”
“Just as we should.”
“It’s about honoring what was while making room for what could be. That’s how someone grows.”
The two of them stared at Kiera in silence as she continued.
“…I didn’t really understand the words at first, but now I do.”
Kiera pursed her lips.
“There’s a time and place for everything, but life doesn’t wait for me, or for anyone. I can’t keep standing in the same spot, stuck in the past. I had just recently taken my first step away from the starting line… and I can’t go back to where I was before.”
She had spent too much time on that line.
It was only recently that she managed to move past that line. And it was all thanks to him.
And it was also for that reason that she didn’t fall back to where she was before.
Because she had grown past that point
She—
Bang!
A sudden crashing sound startled everyone as all heads raised towards the stairs, where a figure stumbled down.
“Leon!?”
Evelyn and the others immediately grew startled as they saw him barely hanging onto the handrail.
Just as they were about to move to him, they saw him raise his head, his eyes bloodshot.
“I…”
His lips quivered, his instincts kicking him.
“…I can’t be wrong.”